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Before we moved on to finding a place to get a drink I already knew I wanted a second date. That image left me unsettled for days. I wish I could say after a bit I was able to quiet that fear.

A Widow's Guilt: Finding love after loss

It makes me feel like I want to cling to him tighter and run far away at the same time. Dating as a widow brings with it complicated and conflicting emotions. The first time that Neil and I sat next to each other at church, the church that Jon and I had attended for years, I felt sadness with a twinge of guilt.

Blog - Young Widowed And Dating

It was as if Jon was sitting on the other side of me asking if I had forgotten him. I should have been all happy and butterflies that not only was I not sitting alone in church, but I was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Truly, I was happy and excited. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and no marriage is perfect. No one has ever done that for you?? But the mind is much quicker to understand truth than the heart.

It takes acknowledging and then releasing those sort of complicated emotions in order to find peace. As Neil and I started talking seriously about future plans I started to feel anxious.

Widow Blogs

It took me some time to figure out what it was that I was feeling because it had nothing to do with Neil. When I was finally able to connect with my heart I figured it out. Right now when people see me with my kids and no ring, whether or not they knew Jon, they notice his absence. They see and recognize what I lost, who I lost. Even when I try to avoid dropping the widow bomb.

But were I to be married, and meet someone new it might take months for them to discover the husband that I lost.

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Even if and when I am happily married once more, that fact will never be ok. I will always carry Jon with me, speak of him to my children and reminisce about him with my friends. Loving again is exciting and it fills me with hope for a wonderful future. But with that comes other complicated emotions. I started this blog with a quote from C. There is nothing more vulnerable than opening up our hearts to love. But the price of closing off our hearts to love is dying before death. Life is precious and time is short. So even with all of the things swirling around in my heart, I choose to love boldly.

Erica, following you these many last months, I am more than happy for your new love and life. You and your babies deserve all that and more. Like Liked by 2 people. Lewis quote described exactly my decision to protect my heart. It is a fearful thing to begin again. I am thankful you are. I have been following your blog with great interest. I met my wife in We married in She became ill in She died in It has been five long years of desperation for me.

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I read your blog posts, especially this last post, and I understand every word you have written. I have lived every word you have written. Your writing has expressed my emotions very well. After five years, I too, have met someone that I regard as special.


  • Top 50 Widow Blogs and Websites for Widows and Widowers.
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  • Top 50 Widow Blogs and Websites for Widows and Widowers.

Like you, I find it still difficult to reconcile my loss with my new gain. But I am much older than you. So my situation is somewhat different. I sincerely hope that you find great happiness and, more sincerely, I hope that you find someone special with whom you will be able to happily share the rest of your life. Glad you found someone and continue your pursuit of love and happiness.

I enjoy reading your blog as I can relate I found someone very quickly after my wife passed from a brain tumor. Your experiences and feelings are often similar to my experiences and feelings how the outside world, family and friends perceive my situation and actions as a widower often with a critical and judging eye.

9 Compassionate and Uplifting Blogs for Widows

I have an adult son who will not be civil with my relationship so I was forced to move forward without him and his wife my daughter-in-law. I have in-laws that do not like seeing me move forward too. I struggle understanding if they are in-laws anymore. These blogs for widows were selected because they offer a poignant, compassionate and optimistic lifeline to others in need. Nicole Campbell lost a husband young and brings a strong attitude and spirit to the subject of recovery. She faces the frustrations of the stages of grief with laughter and directness. Thoughtful entries chronicle the ups and downs of moving on, from finding your identity as a newly widowed partner to ways to cherishing a lost love without remaining trapped in the past.

Since losing her husband eights year ago on her birthday, Sue Larrison has become a strong and reliable voice for widows. Her posts deal honestly with the tremendous changes and emotional weight involved. Input from others often comes anonymously and touches on the struggles and triumphs with powerful imagery. Though only a few years old, it charts the process of recovery from one month to the next, with sections on looking for closure and seeking contentment.

The host at Grieving, Angry Widow speaks from the heart about grief and its impact. She keeps going for her kids and uses the platform to give voice to the anger and sadness that comes, as well as the fond memories and reasons to rebuild.