Both wiggle when you eat them. A rabbi cuts them off.
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A priest sucks them off. What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? What did one broke hooker say to the other? Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
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Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour. How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Why did the semen cross the road?
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Because you wore the wrong socks today. Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
How are women like linoleum floors? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party.
A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you. What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? Why did Jesus die a virgin? Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Wait this might be football. Relationships are like marathons, which are also stupid. The dating process is basically just guys pretending that they like to leave their house.
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Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest. Right now, several billion people aren't dating you. How rude is that? Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.
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Come on in and meet them. They go in and sit down at the table. Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer a tried to let it seep out a little at a time. As he squeezed out a toxic blast, he aimed it towards the family's hound dog Duke, in hopes that they might blame the pooch for the horrendous fart. The girl's father stands up and hollers "Duke!
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Once again, the girl's father stands up, shouts "Duke! Finally, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever heard or smelt rippled through the dining room. The girl's father stands up again. Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am. A woman starts dating a doctor.
Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.
26 Hilarious Jokes About Dating That Single And Taken People Can Laugh At
So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father. A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.