I don't want them to grow up feeling completely divorced from their grandparents and their cousins. Although, of course, they're already divorced from my father's side. Lady Alice Douglas has been with Steve for six years. Previously, she was married to Simon, whom she met while he was serving nine years in prison for armed robbery. It was just this terrible secret. I like people who work the land.

Upper/Middle class women with lower class men | Lipstick Alley

It's just life on a more basic level. Her first husband was a Turkish refugee, and that marriage failed because he couldn't stand living in England. I think that, because of his working-class roots, when he went up for jobs, he didn't really believe he should get them. Probably what class gives you is a belief that you can achieve things. They bonded over playing Macbeth and Lady Macbeth in the prison production, and married while he was still inside. He was five and a half years younger. Most people were cool about it, and I kind of ignored the ones that weren't.

I don't know that there were that many differences. If Simon, my ex, ever tried to negotiate a fee for things like that, people were very dismissive and often rude to him — they'd quibble over 50 quid. It shows how ingrained it is, that if a person is of a higher class, they're worth more. The couple had two children, now 13 and 12, and split up over the classic things that split parents up, regardless of class: Then she met Steve. Your life is too chaotic, it's too full on, there are too many people and I want a simple life. Steve agrees with this analysis, pretty much: We're a clash of personalities really.

Alice is definitely a go-getter and I'm more laid-back. I was brought up by very working-class parents. During the s, growing up, there was work for everybody. My father, a maintenance fitter, always instilled in me not to be resentful of the upper classes, or the people bred into money, because they're the ones who create the work. Alice was born into wealth and power, but she'd never use it — she's absolutely down to earth. Although I do catch her up now and then on her accent. I've looked through every dictionary I can find, and I just can't find any R that would explain her pronunciation of bath.

They thought she could have been with somebody who could have given her a lot more — somebody far more independent and financially stable. But as soon as they met her and saw how sweet she was, that was it. Julia Stephenson met her boyfriend, Steve, seven years ago. But I don't know if one can really describe one's own class. I've been pitched as more upper middle class just because of this flighty life I used to live. Her mother and father had had the same class gap, to which she attributes the marital problems that saw them divorce when she was seven.

He was so confident. And that's when I realised that working-class men are where it's at. If only I'd realised that before my early 40s. They're always doing things round the house. He's built an extension. He's got four equally handy brothers and they all came round and helped him. My dad liked him, too. It's not like I was 21 and a young virgin needing protection. There are differences that are annoying.

Upper/Middle class women with lower class men

It annoys me that he likes all his food overcooked. He doesn't want to see any blood in meat. But, no, we don't have major differences. He left school when he was 15, but I left when I was 17, anyway. He has a very inquiring mind. And he's quite cultural. I thought one of the benefits of going out with a working-class man was that I wouldn't have to go to the theatre or to the opera or ballet, but no, he loves all that. Having been out with upper-class men, it would be a complete nightmare to be married to one of them. As we talk, Steve arrives home, bearing the wherewithal to build something that will stop the dogs going downstairs in the middle of the night.

My new girlfriend, being not remotely middle class, didn't just lack fluency in this mysterious canon; she didn't even know it existed. The only upside was she had no idea just how badly things went when she first met my parents. I had a pretty good idea of how it would go, which is why I put it off for two years. I had left my wife to be with her, and my family was furious.

Why does class still matter when it comes to dating?

How could you do this to your poor wife, they'd yell. What they really meant was, how could I do this to them?

How could I swap an adorably gentle-mannered professional for a loud, semi-literate divorcee whose bookshelf held precisely four volumes, all true crime stories? The first few minutes didn't go too badly. She had recently enrolled on a college course and, as my family makes the traditional middle-class fetish of education, this seemed like safe conversational territory. What this means is: His current girlfriend got her B. My brother is going to school to be a child psychologist.

And I am a strong advocate of education and I expect my partner to be as well. Dec 22, 3. How would you know someone's economic status without lookin at bank statements?? Dec 22, 4. It's not just about class, you have to have the same or at least amenable money values. For instance, I like to blow money on dumb shit from time to time.

Will he have a problem with that? Especially if when he has a problem with that, I say it's my money? Needless to say, I tried it once and never again. Dec 22, 5. I don't believe in this, but its fine if other people do. Dec 22, 6. Dec 22, 7.

“With money comes a lot of expectations and baggage”

Dec 22, 8. Dec 22, 9. Dec 22, I don't know if I could stay married to someone much wealthier than me.


  1. So why, in this day and age, do some of us still think about class when dating?.
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I hate feeling like I owe people something. If my partner is paying the mortgage, all the bills and paying for holidays I would feel guilty since my income is likely to be a fraction of his. Our contributions to the household wouldn't be equal. On the other hand someone much poorer wouldn't be able to support us both if I had a long-term illness, became disabled or lost my job.

I find it rather shallow to date someone or not date soley based on their socioeconomic status because sadly, that doesn't always define their morals and values as a person. Humans are far too complex to be in a box like that. For example, people too often misrepresent themselves either purposefully or unintentionally when it comes to class. It's about that individual's value system rather than making silly generalizations based socioeconomics.

However, to each his own. Alot of people here thinking they are upper-middle class are really either stupid, or delusional. Anyways, I grew up in Cohasset, two parents still married and still living in Cohasset. I now live in Boston, have finished school, started working in my field before I even graduated, have my own place, blah blah blah, all that basic normal shit that LSA thinks makes someone a decent person.

Though my boyfriend earns more than me personally he didn't grow up with alot of money, he was raised by his father in Boston, finished with school, he is working in his field of study, has his own apartment. We've been together since I was One thing I require in a man is a good relationship with their family, it's okay if you don't not everyone has the best family - but I am extremely close to my family, and I can't deal with the bitterness and issues that come from those that don't.

Upper Middle Class Life

He delivers fully in that department. I love being with someone whose family gets along great with my family, and when we get together theres no awkwardness and hate between them. My mother treats him like one of her sons, and my father as well. His father is no different to me. We seem to get along just great: There are more ways to educate yourself other than college. But as far as economics are concerned, I am really starting to wonder how do most of you women who say, "I only date a man who makes XYZ type money", really know how much a guy you date makes??

You can say, "well based on the type of job", but that's not always true.


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  • I don't discuss specific numeric details with a woman I just started dating and neither do any of the guys that I know personally, so I'm really wondering how most of you "really" know.