My father died from age-related illnesses two years after he retired. He was 79, I was It devastated my family; we had to sell the house we grew up in and completely readjust to new lives. My dad was not there to see me graduate from school or university, see me pass my driving test or have a pint with me on my 18th birthday.
Twenty-plus years on, my mother has not remarried and I often worry about her being lonely or unfulfilled. But my experience has taught me that a large age difference is of no real concern: Fleeting thoughts of selfishness on their part occasionally surface — they both knew how old Dad would be when I would be a teenager — but they gave me the best upbringing I could imagine. What more could a child want? After my mother's death, my year-old father married a young girl of They had three boys together.
My siblings were uniformly horrified, and some refused to be civil to him up to the time of his death, aged Some common assumptions are that young women marrying a much older man are looking for security. I believe, from my experience, that it is indeed true — as it probably is for the better half of all women entering into marriage, regardless of age. My father revelled in starting a new family and endlessly doted on his new bride. From my perspective, she did love him and cooked incessantly for him, always trying to please him … quite the contrary to my dear departed mother.
He was in seventh heaven, and quite frankly, I am very thankful she married him. I say to all who seek such unions, more power to you, we need more happiness in this world! I was 19 when I met my husband. He's 28 years my senior. At the time I was headstrong and eager to speed life up. Out of school only one year, I'd started an accountancy course.
It's probably no coincidence that I was also hunting for a mortgage at the same time and looking for a husband. I had a doll's house mindset. The thought of living alone made me nervous, and setting up a home seemed the most practical way of avoiding this. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.
The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule. In almost all scenarios, the revised rules are more restrictive than what the creepiness rule would suggest. I think there are opportunities to build on this oh-so-important research. What is the actual average age difference between couples? How would this research translate to same-sex relationships? At the end of the day, this article was about how people think, not how people should think. Look for relationships that just make you happy. If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:.
Who is the Wisest Philosopher. The 6 Types of Billboard Hits. My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me Which is for that age okay I think. Since we broke up I had enough time to travel, explore and meet new people. I look pretty mature for my age and am very outgoing and just a light hearted girl and never had any Problems to get to know people better.
However it is always me approaching men no matter the age. Currently I am 21 and dating a 48 year old. We are not together because of his money or my youth but it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. We can Talk for hours, he is very spontaneous, open minded and makes me feel secure and Loved.
He still thinks i am perfect. Guys my age told me to lose weight or get my tits done and so on. I just love being with him and enjoy every moment of it. We know each other for about 5 years and have always been friends. Turned out he felt the Same but was just too shy because of the huge age gap. As my username suggests?
I should just stand up for myself, and tell them to keep their opinion to themselves. It makes me laugh. Which one are you? I have stopped listening to what my friends and family think of age-old relationships. Even if they ended up disowning me. Enough said for now. Older men are so full of themselves, offering unasked advice, trying to impress you instead of being fun, trying to change you, causing me and a lot of my friends just stop dating men who are more then 2 years older.
Personally I started dating only younger guys 2 years ago and probably will never date an older guy again. Also we have the same reasons to date a younger guy as you have to date a younger woman. Younger guys are better looking, less bitter, more stamina and generally more fun. Also the ignorance of younger guys is sooo damn cute, it makes them more lovable.
Yes that is their inmaturity that is. I have a masters degree as almost all of my girlfriends and I work at the financing side of property development, even then older guys look down on me. Until the moment I tell what I make a year and then they get resentful. I own my house, a nice car etc. I just want a fun guy who can keep up with me, in bed, clubbing or traveling.
So yes my current boyfriend is 5 years younger then me 19 and yes we are equal. As simple as that. I keep myself in good shape, have a full head of blond hair, drive a Jaguar convertible, own a small business, my home and know how to cook a nice dinner, what candles are for and Sinatra on in the other room. I get told all the time that I look 20 years younger than I am. As for my preference for a younger woman, I also am a swirler.
I, I, I, tends to bore her unless she asks about me. Still, keep it short. Sinatra sang a song that tells the story of my life and makes me feel a twinge of sadness. I usual date guys around my age bracket. This is all just my opinion. Meaning if women liked younger men.
I am 55 and really like younger women — like I do fancy women my own age too and everything inbetween but if I was given the choice it would be a young one every time. My sense of style has improved, because my years of chasing children are complete though I can still reproduce — my focus is more on me than on anybody else. Women flip out about younger women, because people are competitive and they know the best males will go for the younger, healthier, more attractive mates. Hypocritically, the best females all flock to the best male mates—which are almost all alphas.
So hearing the preaching from the old bags is doubly annoying and naive.
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So Nick, while I appreciate how candid you were in this article, I call BS on your comments about your personal preference. Some women grow into their looks as well and go from cute to more stunning and feminine. As I am not preoccupied with reproducing and seek sexual and emotional intimacy as a means of truly sharing, I think this makes me and others like me more appealling.
The 42 year old was one of my favorites. She was elegant, witty, acomplished, very sexual and drop dead gorgeous. We dated for almost a year. What you see in magazines? What your church tells you to look for? Not the ytpe they would actually choose to date. I always lusted after the bikini model looking women. I needed to experience all there was to experience so I could choose. I still find a fitness model the most beautiful to look at. But as for someone I want to date, the softer more feminine body is a more desirable all around choice for me.
This same principal goes for personality, age, maturity level, intelligence, etc.
Large age gaps in a relationship: our readers respond
Only people making either experienced or inexperienced choices. This is such a well written, insightful, and honest piece. Men should not be shamed for their natural desire to be with women much younger than themselves. I am often saddened when I watch my forty-something single female friends attempt to date. They have such a difficult time accepting that their window of attractiveness ended ten years ago and that they are wasting their time trying to find a partner.
However, I think once women learn to accept and live with this, and use their later years to focus on careers, hobbies, philanthropy, and the many aspects of life which are just as fulfilling as romantic relationships, the over forty female race will find themselves much happier. Older men who want younger women are not creeps. They are normal, and women just need to get over it!! I lift weights,swim,hike,love to swim at the beach…….
I agree, for some couples, age really is just a number. If you have chemistry, you have chemistry end of. Taking your point of half your age plus 7, then take a 50 year old guy.
Older Men Who Like Younger Women Aren't Creeps
My maths tells me with that equation he should date a 32 year old. I think most guys are both realistic and practical, I think most guys like to stay in their comfort zone and be with someone who shares their own values and views on life, regardless of age,. For my opinion, girls are far better to marry a guy several years older. My husband is 22 years older and we have a wonderful marriage and 2 children. Results are a very high divorce rate. I guess my role model would be Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford. She also was one happy girl who married a much older guy.
I have always admired older men and men like my husband knows how to treat a lady. I am 36 years old often get mistaken for mids and recently had two men in their 60s express sexual interest in me. I felt very conflicted. I know that people of all ages find each other attractive.
I know that men biologically speaking can father many children until they are in their elder years which is not always a good idea — studies show that older men have a greater risk of fathering children with developmental defects , whereas women are more bound by the role of being a mother. These roles have changed quite a bit, however, and so biological arguments for attraction are more obscure than they might have once been. But I felt repulsed by their advances considering that the potential for a different relationship was there, and considering that I was caught totally off-guard by what I thought were friendships.
An elder man CAN be a friend to a younger women, and can offer some of the things that more life experience has to offer, like insights into living life well or how to navigate financial matters or their understanding of happiness, etc. Ooops, is this shaming?
I suppose if you are reading this article you might be looking for justification for your preferences, and so, yes, maybe it is all about looks. Looks are superficial, right? I believe that our culture is so mixed up that we have no idea what love is, how to feel it, where to look for it, or how to engender love in another person that we are over-run with self-gratifying behaviours like dating people that make US look better and make US feel better about OURselves.
I m 66 she 32 she has 2 kids 13 and 12 and a dad no where to be found. She is very good looking and I go to the gym 3 days a week. She has made some poor financial choices I have to be careful it doesn t become about money. But I advise her how slowly she can get back on her feet. I love her and want us to work together so the kids are happy she has less stress in her life.
We are a team my friends can t believe someone who looks like that is with me. It certainly is about money. We have a 26 year age difference. He is 49 and I am 23 and we are expecting our first child in July. Neither of us has any other kids. I am a 34 year old woman engaged to a 50 year old man. I was a biology major in college and to me it makes sense that men would seek out younger women. Women are only naturally fertile until around age 35, whereas men are fertile their entire adult life.
Women, naturally, would be most sexually attracted to men when they have the most resources to take care of a child in our culture today that means financial resources. All hope is not lost. He may just be looking for companionship, someone with resources of her own, and someone who can manage a household. I am not physically attracted to men under 35 for some weird reason. My friends and family know all about us.
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I completly understand This. Dont be afraid to go ask yorn women Out! Because I date a guy 1 year older than me. They are going to love you just because you date them….. Some to prove that they can attract all males out there.
I am a man age I was married for 20 years, most of them not good. I have met a much younger woman, that i have become very close friends with. Mind you I am not talking intimate friends, but we hang out together constantly. She is 20 years old, which makes her young enough to easily be my daughter. I go to her house and visit with the entire family. Her mom and dad are always making comments that we would make a cute couple.
We both assure everybody that its just best friends snd nothing else. She has been throough surgeries stemming from a bad car wreck where she almost didnt live. I have been present with her at the hospital for countless hours, even sleeping there to make sure she gets the best care. Somewhere along the way I have fallen in love with her, not sure how it happenned but it did. She sends me cute little messages about love u and the sorts here recently. I am just not sure if she feels the same way that I do or not. How can a man let a woman know how he feels, without losing the ultimate friendship, if her feelings are not the same.
I keep in mind that her dad is 77 and her mom 58, but our age gap is much bigger. We have so much in common, same musical taste, food, love for fast cars, same type of movies etc. Would it even be fair to her to be stuck with a man whom will probably be old and wrinkled before she hits 40?
I worry about her well being and happiness more than my own. So people tell me what your opinion is, you can even call me a pervert if you want, but I have never had children so it feels a little different to me. I always wanted children so bad, but my wife was unable to bear children. Furthermore she wants children in a few years, would it be fair to kids to be born of a father who is say 55? I am 64 years old. I retired military veteran.
My fiance is 30 years old. We have been dated for a year. I have been asked if I was her father, her grandfather, I just smile. I am so proud to be her fiance, soon to be married. She found me, I was not even looking for a woman at the time. Your heart makes the relationship! It is not healthy, and nobody should a.
And when it comes to women, this article clearly articulates the reasons why being overweight would NOT be attractive to men. We are this way because ,million years of evolution have created us this way. As men, we are looking for beauty, which signifies good, healthy genes, followed by youth, and form, both of which signify the woman can successfully carry and deliver our baby. This is imprinted in our DNA and is the reason we look for pretty, youthful, slender women with the right curves, meaning hips wide enough and breasts ample enough ….
I totally enjoy being single and am not at all lonely. As for my preference of younger women, that does not include teenagers or women under 25 although many of them are mature and intelligent. Part of that is because I have a rep of being a friendly person.
In most of my experiences with younger women, I have found that they enjoy being with someone who knows the world works and, that includes knowing how to treat a woman in ways that allow her to feel good about herself. Those few who thinks I ought to waste away and croak have no affect in how I feel about myself and my life. Interesting article and even more interesting responses. For the record I am 60 years old and have been married 3 times to progressively younger women.
First marriage was for 13 years and yielded my 2 sons, second marriage was for 18 years and established my financial security and business. I dated for awhile after my second marriage ended and found out many things about myself and women. I used an online dating site that used a more advanced system of screening and has a large base of participants. It was quite enlightening to experience all that is out there when shopping for a mate. I have always taken care of myself, I am physically active and make most 30 year old men look unfit.
I am not nor have ever been a player, I respect and indulge my woman. Through the dating process I found that there is a disproportionate number of younger women seeking a older mate. A common thread was that many of these women were tired of the self centered, capricious behavior of their age similar mate. I spent a fair amount of time researching this subject, I was amazed at how many unhappy marriages there are and at how long many people stayed in those marriages.
I met some interesting ladies and rediscovered my sexual appetite. In the end I ultimately chose a woman 8 years my junior, she is so much more at the same place I am. We both are looking at an early retirement and hopefully many years of time together, I believe that being with someone who is on a similar timeline as you is very important in the long term. Someone who will outlive you and relinquish your memory to the scrap book!
Let the young guys deal with the young gals, they have more in common than you think. I do love older guys.