Originally Posted by Greznog. Because, unlike many white men, black men have not been tainted by feminism. Thuggish or otherwise, black men are generally more masculine both in their personality and their physical appearance. Originally Posted by PJKino. You must not know black people outside of their images from hipop and entertainment. Theyres plenty of feminine black dudes especially since so many are raised by single mothers and adopt those traits from the women.
Hood type white women date thugs, and preppy type white girls date preppy or hipster black dudes. Its not a color thing basically. Originally Posted by kaylan. My little brother has a white girlfriend and he is black, and if you call a 3. Who are you to judge anyone. You're probably single and pathetic and mad that none of these white women want you. Last edited by LoveShack. Some day in the future, there will only be 1 race on the entire planet.
Especially since people are cross-breeding between races. Everyone will be mixed so that there will no longer be a question about whether someone is dating a black, white, yellow, green or purple. People are the same as everyone else under their skin color. I'm a white man and you should know that black men aren't all thugs.
Oh and by the way, there are white men who are thugs too. I'm a white girl and I dated a black guy once. And he wasn't a thug, and I wasn't dating him due to some preconceived notion regarding "manliness" or "it's all I could get". I dated him because he made me happy, was fun to be around, and it didn't hurt that he had the prettiest light brown eyes hehe.
I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Originally Posted by singlelife. All times are GMT The time now is The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. Was fed up of being considered 'cute' but not BF material. My wife still mystifies me to this day when she calls me sexy. She is an extremely beautiful black woman who could have chosen anyone, but she chose me: You would be suprised how much one can change their look.
If you get well fitted clothes, hit the gym for a while, get into skincare and get a haircut, you can easily turn into a much more attractive man. Another fellow nerdy Asian here haha. I've gone on a few dates with white girls, latinas, and black girls. I don't think the race thing is that big of a deal for most.
The girls that do care about it, probably aren't girls you'd wanna date anyways. You just gotta be confident, work on yourself, etc. All that cliche advice actually works, but it takes a lot of time and effort. You will get rejected a bunch and most of them will kinda hurt. But once you find someone who likes you for who you are all those rejections will mean nothing.
I'm a gay brown guy and every gay person is attracted to white boys, honestly. I live in Australia too and I have the exact same issue as you. And I find them more attractive over my background too, like you said possibly due to how my country treats whiter skin as better colonised by white people too: I feel like an Ouroboros eating my own tail or penis, whatever metaphor you prefer.
I found him attractive, he seemed nice, so I went out with him. I was so surprised by this, and it made me really sad. It's cool brother, we're not fair like the Bollywood actors from Hindi movies, but the Tamil movies keep it real. They all looked super happy and the comments were nice to read, made my day!
I have no doubt that racial preferences are a thing, but take heart - there's lots of people who find Indian dudes attractive. I'm a super white girl like, glow-in-the-dark white and I'm definitely into darker men. I'm a white guy and I am super attracted to Indian men and women! I know that's sadly not entirely the norm but India has such a beautiful and diverse culture and I wish people would take more time out of their day to learn about India.
India decriminalized homosexuality a couple months ago so fortunately at least it's going in the right direction. My fiance is South Asian as well and I tell him just how much he melts my heart as much as I can Not just because of his looks, but his personality as well. He tells me that I could find someone better than him, but there is no one that can replace him. Asian Men are some of the hottest men out there in my opinion. Not everyone is supposed to look the same and I'm not sure why people tend to favor more fair skinned or ""white" looking people.
One day you I hope you find someone who loves you for who you truly are. Because I'm sure you are a heart throb. I guess I'm just attracted to Asian Men in general. Lucky I found one that likes black women. If you dont have the accent I lost mine in my childhood you might lose half the distaste, but then again we all ways will get judged for our outwards appearance.
White guy nearly beaten to death for dating black women : iamatotalpieceofshit
I'm gonna expose my own cultural basis aka racism , when I was younger and single I was very skinny and I always felt that girls wouldn't date me because of my physique, all girls but especially black girls. My insecurity came from my belief that that all black guys were muscular so black girls wouldn't like me. In my 30s I finally went to a few meetup. After two events I wound up dating someone. And of course she was super thin like me. I think I just had reddit therapy. As a white-ish guy that has dated a black woman for a couple of years, there was a bit of an issue caused by this.
When I approached her about dating, she was initially defensive. I think this doubt runs deep. From the other side of the looking glass, I'd gotten interest physically, but not romantically, and never outside my race. When my boyfriend asked me out, I honestly had no idea what he saw in me, because I just somehow accepted that I wasn't attractive like that. He didn't seem like the type to be after sex, but what else could he want? To just go out sometimes and spend time together?
And same as you, he was persistent in proving that he actually had feelings for me before I could relax and fall for him too. I would have missed out on so much if I let my doubts have their way. My girlfriend of 6 years is mixed. Women of all races are beautiful! Hispanic male here, I grew up in a diverse part of California and found black woman very attractive.
It was no surprise to my family that I married a black woman. We have been married for 15 years this coming February and she is the love my life. And if you are an actual minority you still get a lesser place in the media, like the other acrobat in the movie. I have had this exact thought so many times. I can honestly say I have never seen a movie where a dark skinned black woman was the romantic lead, and a white man her paramour. Hell, I hardly have seen many RomComs with a darker skinned black man falling for an equally dark skinned black woman.
What are your thoughts and observations?
I think that might be one of the causes of the myth that darker black women are seen as less desirable to types of men. I hate that in , almost 19, I can still only name one well known dark skinned black actress who ever has her beauty played up for roles. The romance isn't the main plot point but I was happy to see liam neeson and viola Davis as a couple in widows.
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If you google it, there are so many people confused by her characters and why people were opposed to the relationship. For many it doesnt register that she is black. This is especially true outside of the US where race is pereceived differently. I like to think I am pretty knowledgeable of this kind of stuff, and it also took me a minute from 'what? Similar for Megan and Harry. There were so many people who didnt even think of her race, but newspapers kept talking about it.
Bi girl here, I was about to post the same thing.
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I don't get why black girls would not be attractive, I'm just sitting here all mystified right now Exact same boat as you. I'm a bi girl and always find black women to be so captivating. My most recent crush is on Tati Gabrielle. She's absolutely amazing as Prudence in the new Sabrina series. It's all the stereotypes of us as loud, angry, ghetto, controlling, etc etc etc. Sure, we can be smart and sexy and feminine and kindhearted, but you wouldn't know that from the way we are sometimes portrayed in the media.
I remember once reading that, on okcupid, black women are the least sought-after demographic. If I recall Asian men were in the same boat, but instead being a perfect match they both excluded each other in high numbers. Every time I end up in less diverse areas it feels absolutely bizarre. College was infinitely better for me than high school ever was, you and your peers are still not even sure who you are yet. Speaking as another darker skinned minority, college was 10,x better in terms of having people find me attractive. I'm also a bi lady and was just saying to some coworkers tonight that black women are the most beautiful women in the world.
It's not like I sat down and compared all the women, but I've just noticed that I consistently think the black women I see in my city are gorgeous. It sucks that there are so many people who don't see what I see. All the bi, lesbian, and pan ladies coming here to say the same thing. How I feel about girls who are actually attracted to Asians guys. It's better than everyone expecting you to pack a monster, trust me. Pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment. Idk where that stereotype came from but it sure does suck.
On the bright side is if anyone gives you the chance you could surprise them. I find Asian men incredibly attractive. Though to be fair, my husband was the first Asian I've dated. So it may be a bias thing cause I love him so much.
Yes, I'm sorry that Asian characters are usually asexual, nerdy, not masculine, and not complex. I hope this changes. Not too hard, just a punch in the shoulder or something. Every time they say something stupid, hit them harder. That's what my friends do. UGHHH this is so true, as soon as you go out with one girl who isn't white your white friends will assume you're a case of yellow fever or whatever racist nonsense they decide to label it.
And this is more sweet but it's a little much sometimes the way older people of color trip over themselves to say how cute y'all are together and you make such a great couple and so on.
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My wife is black, I didn't wife her because she's black. I wifed her because she's smart, funny, hot and caring. People get too caught up in this least attractive race, most attractive race bullshit. Just be hygenic, fit, interesting and have something going for you and most normal people are going to be attracted to you for that and not because your ancestors from a certain part of the world.
I remember reading about this. I think the problem comes down to more Asian americans are in this weird limbo. Especially half asians like myself. We aren't fully part of the "real" Asians, those fresh off the boat so to speak, and many groups of white people will hold us at arms length. Culturally it feels like the only people I can really relate to are other Asian americans, which are statistically much more rare.
You often feel like you are being asked to deny half of who you are or asked to represent people you really dont represent. Personally I feel this affected my confidence from well before I hit puberty which had a trickle down effect on my high school dating. I know that at least one of the reasons women of color, especially black women, dont pursue Asian men is that while the man in question may not mind the racial difference his family might feel a different way, same goes for Indian men.
Doesn't mean they arent attractive though. Just move to Central Europe, the "I wanna date an Asian! I'm a white dude. I'm attracted to black girls just as much as any other race but I'm intimidated by them. I just don't understand black culture and feel too different to be able to try dating one.
I can actually see that. I always found Asian men attractive, but as a Black woman, I never had the guts to approach them. I think the best way is to just go for it and if you make a mistake, own up to not knowing the culture. I'm also a white dude currently engaged to a black girl that I've been with for 6 years, and I honestly just approached it similarly to how I did any of the other previous girl's I talked to. We really hit it off and plan to be together happily ever after. My experience with both was just to initiate as you would any other girl you're interested in. Some black girls may not go for white guys, but I think most people are open to all races and just look at the person.
I myself was not intentionally chasing any type of person, but rather just trying to chase cute girls. I don't think either of the black girls I have experience with were more or less intimidating than the white girls I dated. Keep in mind that unless the girl your interested was born in another country, you may not have as many cultural differences as you think. Yeah, some of the cuisine could be a bit different at family gatherings.
Yes, there may be some getting used to in-laws as with any relationship. But, if the girl you're interested in grew up here or better yet her parents also grew up here, odds are she shares many of the same cultural experiences as you like the school system, working life, pop culture, etc. Neither of the girls I talked to had any cultural hurdles I had to overcome, but both had parents and grandparents were born in the US.
Culturally there are often differences, but I love me some black girls. Not that I'd ever approach one out of intimidation. I was once asked if I was racist because I always looked a little uncomfortable around black people. White girl here, my longest relationship was with a Korean guy whom I found highly attractive before I realized he was an asshole. One of the hottest bartenders I worked with in my 20s was also Asian. Just work it, dude. When I was a kid my very first crush was my kindergarten teacher, who was a dark-skinned Black woman. Ever since, I've found Black women to be the most attractive of all women and I was really surprised when people actually gave me shit for it.
Like, when one of my first co-workers was talking to me about women and I mentioned how attractive I found another co-worker of ours he looked at me like I said I was attracted to my cousin or something. For me, my first crush was a best friend I had in elementary school. He was a Vietnamese guy and we were inseparable.
While it is nice, I guess I always get grossed out when guys make a point to say "i like black girls" I really don't like it actually. I try to change the subject but some guys don't get the hint. Also I hate this narrative of black women are unwanted and second choices and that we're happy when someone wants us. Like maybe some guys think that way but anyone worth being with won't give a shit if they like you for you. Plus I've been hit on and dated all different races and nationalities, I don't think I'm particularly stunning or anything either. Its not a big deal like I thought it was in middle school.
Also protip alot fo guys will bang anyhting with a pulse so its really not a compliment when they think that I'm that pulsating meat bag for the night lol. I like being seen as a person primarily and seeing him as a person his race is really irrelevant to me. My most important values are honesty, intelligence and kindness and he has the trifecta.
My best friend is a white guy, and he's married to a black girl. He definitely has a strong and vocal preference for black girls. In fact, now that I think about it, most of the white guys I know have at least a little bit of a preference for black girls. Yeah, we all went to high schools that were predominantly black students, so a lot of the bonds that we formed were with black students. My first girlfriend was black, she taught me how to pop and lock, which I've always been super grateful for!
It really sucks that this has been your experience, and I'm sorry it has. I think it's worse in some parts of the country than others, but it happens everywhere. I remember the first time I saw a black girl walking down the street with something over her face, because she didn't want her skin to get darker, and how sad I felt that she felt she had to do that, something that hadn't ever occurred to me as someone who grew up in a place that thought of my skin color as "normal".
I'm in my forties, and I grew up in the South pretty separated from black kids in school: I had some friends, but there was always a sense that we belonged to different groups Then, when I moved into a city where I started spending a lot of time with peers who were black not to mention all sorts of looks, body types, origins, gender identities, orientations, etc I suddenly found I was just as attracted to black folks as anyone else. So I kind of look back at that kid who felt he had a preference and I realize he was just super sheltered and hadn't gotten over some hang ups, and the minute I actually spent time with anyone, those hangs up faded away.
I hope that's true for most people, but I'm also lucky enough to have gotten to spend time with a lot of black people willing to be patient with my awkwardness. Anyway, all that is to say: I hope that over time, a lot of those "preferences" go away, both for individuals and for society. We're living in a time with a lot of racial tension, but also a time when I see black people being celebrated all over for who they are, on their own terms, and I think that will make a big difference over time.
I also think the "on their own terms" is important, because I think it's important black women be thought of as beautiful not for what white people want them to be, but for who they want to be.