Love Sujeiry

The white chicks are so used to the endless attention they make a sport of rejecting these guys or luring the guys on with empty promises for fun. It's this random chaos and disrespect the men deal with when pursuing their dream girls that is the source of all online vitriol. So when the girls turn these guys down they get revenge emails like balls of fire.

Your chick is just a boring safe brunette so who cares what she does? The chick you put up isn't anyone's idea of a girlfriend, more like a one night stand. That's why you got no controversy from her. I've only used okcupid. A woman, 29 years old, been on for 6 months. My experience is not very pleasant as well. I find it strange, that so many men here say, that they are looking for a relationship. Yes, its true, that most women get lots of attention, but that doesn't mean anything. All girls that i know, want to find an actual boyfriend, and hopefully, eventually, someone to move in with, get married, have kids etc.

But the vast majority of the guys just want to "chill and netflix". Sometimes, i feel like women are a bit more honest. If we don't respond, we are not interted - that's it. Sorry, we can't be interested in every single person that messages us. Sometimes, there might be nothing wrong with you, but we all have our types and dealbreakers.

I keep finding guys who seem interested in me, but whenever things get too serious for their liking, they run away like crazy. I'd rarher be ignored, than led on till i start developing feelings just to have my heart broken. I'm not even talking about numerous people asking if i want to come to their place tonight or if i want to be their slave or want them to be my slave or if i'm into oral sex right of the bat. I'd rather see that and just block them, than meeting someone who seems nice and genuine, and then to find out they are just players, use me or just not ready for a relationship.

I haven't had chemistry with most of the people I met, so we never went on the 2nd date. But here are 3 guys, that i thought we were getting somewhere with, and they all left me heartbroken:. The first guy i met was ok. I was recently out of a 5 year relationship, he was out of a long relationship too. We had too many drinks and ended up having sex pretty fast. I thought he'd think i'm way too easy and will never talk to me again. Instead, we started seeing each other regularly.

I wasn't that much into him, but i was still not recovered from my past relationship and, i guess, wanted to have someone there for me. He was in a similar position, so it all seemed to be working well. Eventually, he started treating me better and better. We never talked about being exclusive, defining our relationship, yet we'd spend lots of time together, we'd go out, hold hands, kiss and make out in public with no problem, he was making me dinners, help with manly stuff around the house etc.

So i have slowly started falling for him. I even made a house party once, and invited him, and he came and met all of my friends. It lasted for about a month. One day i was driving, and saw him walking and holding hands with another girl and we live in a big city and not in the same area. What are the chances? I confronted him about it later, and he said how he never said he wanted a relationship, he is just out of one, and he enjoys his time with me, but he is not ready for a new one and wants to see what's out there. I didn't like the 2nd guy i met right away.

He wasn't physically attractive to me, but he was really funny and interesting to talk to. I would have loved him to be my friend if we haven't met on the dating website. He kept asking me out. I decided to go out with him a few more times, just because he was fun to be around, but never felt any chemistry. Even felt bad for leading him on, but kept seeing other guys. He started pursing me like crazy, he was very very nice to me, so eventually i have started liking him.

I have enjoyed being treated like a princess and thought to myself "wow, this guy is really nice and is really into me, who else would treat me like that? And i decided to give it a chance and started developing feelings too. After 2 months, we were hanging out one evening, and he started going on and on about how he can't believe that he met someone so amazing online, how he did't expect this to happen, how he is sick of online dating and doesn't wanna see anyone else.

So we talked and decided to make it serious and delete our profiles in front of each other. So all was great, no problems, fights or other issues. Again, why start and waste 2 months of my life? The last guy, was actually the first one i have liked instantly. I wasn't expecting that, but i really liked him the moment i met him. He seemed interested too. He complained to me about online dating from male point of view, how most of the women he met are boring. He is highly educated and is very picky about intelligence of women he dates, and he said he was amazed by me, because he felt it was so easy to talk to me right away, i'm smart and attractive.

He was asking me out every days which was unusual and it told me he is really into me. He was also very nice to me and we could talk forever. He has to wake up early for work, but we were still talking and making out till late when we saw each other. After 3 weeks, i had crazy feelings for him, and he seemed to have too. He canceled one of the dates for seemingly legit reason. I was cool about it, and told him that its ok, and we can see each other some other time. After that, he became very distant.

Disappeared for a few days, then messaged again apologizing telling me about the problems he had. Then he would just randomly message me every few days, but never offered to go out again. And eventually just stopped messaging me. I think men and women gave different problems with online dating, but we ha e it equally hard. Guys don't get responses, women find players.

I completely agree with what a lot of men are saying. I was married 30 years only to be violently attacked by an alcoholic wife. I set myself out there and the women just play games. They say stupid things and just look for attention. I'm seriously disappointed in what appears to be the feminist movement in this country. They try to use their sexual prowess instead of their intelligence, which most are seriously lacking, and again, play games.

They are not serious and don't care about a good relationship. I'm sure it's true there are a lot of men jerks but we are all stereotyped that way. Please be ladies OK? Have some respect for the opposite sex and if you're not serious just stay the heck away all right? There are good men like me out there.

And you ladies that look so good in your photographs are just absolutely narcissistic and hideous with the way you speak to us. Please get over yourselves and take your meaningless time wasting profiles down and go gaggle in the mirror at yourself. It's really too bad. I have been giving this a good shot for months and actually have made a few good friends but have run into so many Queen bees that I am ready to give up. It is really is a waste of money and time. Every review that I read about online dating is a bad one.

The whole industry is sickening; praying on the people that yearn to love and be happy only to let them down. In one state in Australia where I live I've found it even more difficult to meet a good, down-to-earth woman online. I don't put women on pedestal, had my fair share of relatioships but I"m also shy and busy so i'd really like to see some online dating work. I'm in no rush, but why can't I just find a healthy smart woman who is NOT self-obsessed, for some good online conversation?? At least most guys get some kind of comment. I was on four different popular sites in the last few years I got only a wink or very short text and just one.

Met only one woman at a car show for two hours then she got a call and had to get going. I'm real shy too but I feel I sent out some really good icebreaker messages, I put a lot of thought into them, to always sound upbeat and funny. But never got any comment, not even a thanks but no thanks, seems like they don't even get them, but the scammers sure answer quick with a too good to be true letter and great pictures. I was married for fourteen years and divorced for eleven. Was her idea for the split, shes remarried a few years I can't even get a date yet.

Think she put a curse on me lol. Can't believe so many people jump in bed on the first date, both sexes. It's that kind of life style that hurts so many people,that nobody trust anybody anymore and I can't say that I blame them. Which I've never done before, maybe this will work, who ever reads this might know of somebody through the grape vine. I know there's good ones out there I just read some of there letters here. There's too many bad ones out there in the way of us good one's. I Know this is a little off the wall but I'll give it a shot.

If there's any good one's out there please I'd love to meet you.


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I'm trying something different, by, bypassing all the dating services. Because, really from the comments I've read about all these dating sites. There's a lot of unhappy people out there, wish they'd quit playing games and say what they really think, that's what I try to do.

The same pigs have shown up on all of the dating apps I have used. I originally started with plenty of fish, where I met two very good long-term friends, but no romantic chemistry. The majority of the other users were soliciting inappropriate photos and sending them as well. A few mentally unstable messages followed rejections. There are just as many people looking for hook ups on match. Disappointing as to what society has become. I don't agree entirely with this article.. I use dating sites and am smart using them, as a result I don't get harassed.

If the woman is smart and secure of herself instead of making it easy for the man it would make dating for a female easier. A lot of women are Insecure of themselves and a man can sense that, if I get a sexualized message instead of being afraid I just message back and say"you're disgusting best of luck. Just saying an insecure woman who acts fearful is more bound to be harassed on these sites. I've also met and dated plenty of men from free dating sites that are seeking a commitment, don't assume ALL men only want a hookup that's not at all true.

More so want Casual stuff but if you spend enough time online you'll meet decent men that want a relationship. I had 2 boyfriends come from OkCupid, there are good ones online too. Don't make yourself vulnerable and easy for the men! Nail very much hit on the head. Online dating for girls that are decent and offline for that matter requires work and a combination of common sense, good judgement and patience. Same thing for decent guys going online - it requires work and there are guides out there that go a bit further than the generic "read her profile" advice given here if guys looked hard enough for them and that easily help them stand out.

I think the problem is these days people are more desperate than ever for a quick fix and dismiss new ideas if they don't see sparks flying first go. I saw similar things in college where most my friends got brutally negative, generic and uninformed advice particularly if parents had no clue about their field if they hadn't gotten a job within 1 week of graduation. You cant seriously sitt there and say honestly that women have dating harder than men. I mean seriously, is that honestly what you think? You watch as your sanity melts away from the slow burning tourture of loanliness, you would go mad, anyone would.

It amazes me how selfish women are, it really does, id love to give you all my pain just for one day sso you would understand the utter hopless misery that men have to face! I hate this life i just want to die. I just cant beleive any woman would sit there and say she has it harder than men. You have no idea what decades of blanket rejections and loanliness would do to you, it would kill you, its true hell.

Yeah obviously easier for women. Men have to work hard even to get validation from girls while women have men blowing up their phones boosting their ego by chasing them. Guys be happy with even unwanted attention from opposite sex. Women can't make up their minds because of all their o ptions. While men don't have nearly the same amount of options or experience. They can get attention and sex easily while guy gets neither easily cuz he has to compete for it. Competing, chasing and getting rejected can be so discouraging that you question if it's worth it if girls are so narcissistic and dismissive to guys' advances.

Women never deal with rejection the way guys do. They never put themselves in that position and so they are constantly avoiding rejection and receiving positive attention from guys chasing them. Why sex so "creepy? Means guy attracted to you. Take it as a compliment. Why society berate the guy for being a man?! You put up a pic, put little work into your profile, and yet expect so much from the guys who contact you?

You even admit you receive nice messages, but refuse to even acknowledge such guys? Not even a simple thank you back? What does that say about you?? Congrats on the ego stroke, but I'm not taking the bait. Lot of guys of looking for someone to actually date, and you aren't that person. Your advice simply does not apply. Lots of good n bad on it. As soon as i read your name i knew you were an Aussie, i agree with your sentiments regarding dating sites, they're about as barren as some pubs are these days I was recently scammed on Match. There have been class action suits against Match for portraying themselves with 15 million users when only a million are paid subscribers and the rest contain a lot of scam artists looking to relieve you of your cash.

The whole site is a scam in the sense they want to auto renew your subscription which is hard to stop once you sign up. I wonder if any of the people on the site are real at all! It is and some are, had a bunch of dates on there before I met my girlfriend who we now live together and have a beautiful baby boy with Where as in the real world it is harder for men to key in on victims. You just have to be more careful use an extra screening process and not take things so personal knowing it is a numbes game and nothing that is exceptional should be expected or necessarily easy to obtain Just like life if you want something special sometimes it takes hard work!

I think I'm being scammed. I put a report with the fbi a month ago. I'm waiting for them to respond. I'm keeping him on the hook until I hear from the agency. So they can take over and catch him. I've been asked for money. His company name I have researched.

It's a generic website and the addresses I looked up for his offices show no record of his company ever being there. Lease records and such. He has an Enflick voip number, but his last picture looks like a location of what he's stated. I can't find evidence his pictures are reposts of someone else. How do I proceed safely until the authorities arrive? I am a good looking guy not a model will not say that not arrogant but 5'10 and pounds. Last time l was online dating was about 10 years ago meet my ex wife and the mom of our daughter through lavalife.

This time I find pof a total waste of time I am a gold member but our of couple of dozens ladies I contacted 1 only replied back and she told me you are a really nice man and wish you best of luck but just started to date a man. I am only 40, leave in greater Vancouver, bc have a good job and rent a 2 bedroom place on my own plus drive a suv. It seems maybe wrong that the idiot men have flooded the ladies to Mt he point they tune out even great men or that many sadly l suspect accounts on pof now are fake.

Either way l am at the point of giving up and l am sure l was not the first or last normal nice man to reach this point due to no ladies replying back at all. Dont give up fella, just work harder and lower expectations of how quickly results should come I've been doing online dating for only a few months seriously. Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning. I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"!

Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses. So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it. I want to be strategic about this, right? I try to throw in a little humor if I can, but my first message, if there is something in her profile, ALWAYS contains at least one if not a few references to hers. I write in complete sentences and try to seek ways to spark a conversation. I make no lewd comments whatsoever. I don't even reference anything about looks except once and that was a weak moment on my part since she her picture affected me that way, plus it was an experiment to see if venturing there yielded anything different.

I also try to not be unrealistic as far as types of women I try to engage. I am 52, 6' 2", a little under lbs, no paunch, somewhat athletic and active, and I feel I am decent looking but have no idea how to quantify that. After reading about how to write a profile, I feel I've written a strategically thorough yet somewhat concise one.

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I will say that overall, I am an eclectic type that's hard to describe very thoroughly: I am personally open to a wide variety of situations, but I feel most women want some kind of commitment. I don't game because I haven't dated in almost thirty years. I had been married for about 27 years and now divorced for a year.

So I am not even sure what this "game" they keep talking about really is, although I have an idea. Whatever it is, I would certainly abide by the wishes and expectations of whomever I want to see and date. What are you doing? If I try to go deeper at all, they either disappear or keep repeating themselves probably catfishers since other things about their profiles make their seeking me unrealistic. Then, I have had a couple go a few sentences longer, but almost all have ended.

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Unfortunately, one had a legitimate mental disorder from traumatic brain injury. I tried to make this one work, but we just could never connect. One other one is so far away, I am still seeing where it goes. But so far, at best we'll be friends and no dates unless I travel over miles to another country.

I've sent dozens of messages not hundreds yet , along with "winks" do these even work? I am paid on POF so I can see where a ton aren't read. A few read, some read then deleted and some deleted outright. I respect the deleted ones, so I don't even bother. A few of those were probably out of my league anyway I was too old, or they were way more active or maybe interests didn't match.

I had hoped that I would have gotten a little more response out of the others, especially ones who were mutual "meet me" that POF has. But even that didn't garner a response. So then I don't know if sending more messages is expected, tacky, pestering, or what.

I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible. So, in my disappointment, I have been researching what is really going on. I've found many posts like this about what women "deal with". And I find it interesting how they have the opposite challenge most of the time. And I was honestly surprised at how jaded they get, but I don't blame them because of all these goofball, creepy, lewd, stalker responses they get. Now I see a dilemma. The nice guys, of which I consider myself right at the center of not so nice that I would be boring, but definitely nice enough to be respectful of a woman and her boundaries and that no means no , can't get responses let alone dates.

The nice women seem to get nothing but tons of messages to try to wade through. Who knows where all the drain and noise is coming from, though we know the sources such as scammers, desperate loser types, stalkers, catfishers, etc. And there doesn't seem to be too much that can be done about limiting that. However, if we are aware of it, we can do things to try to counter it. It also seems that we need to become more strategic and not so bitter about how to approach all of this.

I see where a bridge needs to be built here somehow. Maybe the nice guys need to be recognized more somehow by getting in kind responses from women. If you get a nice initial message, at least say no thank you and even a brief idea of how good the message was. Us guys get no clue whether we are sending out the right message or not. It would even be nice to get some kind of rating system going like eBay or something. This weird limbo of never knowing if it was the message, the profile, the pictures or if who we messaged is overwhelmed is really tough to deal with. It would also be nice to have women realize that if they are getting decent if not outright nice messages more than once from a guy, that these guys are just trying to stay on top of the crap that that woman is otherwise getting; that they aren't stalking or pestering, they are just wondering if they are getting heard at all.

I don't know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed. I don't know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us. It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these; that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow.

Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system? For me, online dating is about my only hope of meeting anyone. I am not religious nor do I drink, even coffee it puts me to sleep. I have food allergies and sensitivities. I work online from home. As a result, I don't go to any place of worship, I don't club or do bars, I can't eat at any restaurants, and I don't have a work environment with other people.

I actually have very few friends despite my best efforts. I keep running across so many people with involved lives of which I am just not a part including my family. So, online is the only place I can even think about meeting people. I go for walks in the park, to the library, and around downtown.

What also challenges me is that I am fairly introverted. On top of all this being much older, I have not the foggiest idea on how to hit up a conversation with a woman I've never met before. I didn't when I was twenty I met my former wife through very unusual circumstances involving an acquaintance and what little dating I did then I did all though people I knew.

How am I going to do it at over fifty and not seem weird? Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks". For instance, I go to a drum circle the only one within 30 miles of me. Of available women who show up a few unavailable do , it is pretty much just one in her 80s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason.

I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play. Well, I could probably say more, but I hope to start a conversation about what can really be done about this issue and not just complaining about it. I would really like to overcome the disconnect with what is happening between guys and gals and to renew proper expectations. Otherwise, it will become one of the biggest fails of our technological communications age.

David, what an extremely sensitive and impressive person you are, they are very pwrceptive observations would have been nice to write you up as a friend Do you ever submit correspondence on quora..? Upload your photo's and fill your profile. Look for the bad ones and write a blog post. Start looking for men. Initiate the conversation with the man, and let him rate you as you like to rate men. Not all guys are bad, but not all women are either, and for every man out there sending women messages that women don't want there is a woman out there who thinks she is worth more then men so she doesn't have to give what she takes.

You've been telling men they are doing it wrong for centuries. How about you step up to the plate then? I am trying once again with the online dating. I read the response of the recently divorced 62 year old man in Vancouver. If you haven't been on a date in 27 years, don't be too disappointed if you can't get one right away. As you said, you and your recent ex were introduced.

Probably you had mutual acquaintances and got the opportunity to know one another over time. The only relationships I ever had started this way. Through friends, meeting at a party, seeing the person regularly in my community. If you don't drink, you can still no to a bar. There are loads of places where people socialize, listen to music, dance. Have a club soda if you don't drink alcohol. I try to read the on line profiles of the men who send me messages.

I am never married with no kids. A recently separated man is not for me. He is not actually single. I dated a man who claimed to have been divorced for many years. He is very involved with his ex wife mother of his adult son as she had an accident and is helping to take care of her. The son 30 years old is a good kid but has a miriad of personal and health problems. He also had a large extended family he spends a lot of time with. This is great, but I was wondering where I fit in. Apparently he is looking for a lover and was VERY forward practically dove on me on our first date.

I am a slow starter and do not appreciate this type of thing. On line dating is not so easy for the over 50 set. Also, since I am not divorced, I usually ask the men why they are divorced. Most do not want to talk about it, so that is a non starter for me. If the person cannot express to me why their marriage did not work out, their are probably a lot of thing they will not be able to express to me. Just hang in there.

Consider yourself lucky for having had a long marriage. If their is a particular reason why your marriage ended, reflect on it honestly so you can communicate it to a new woman who comes into your life. She will probably ask about it. In the meantime, don't think about all the limitations you express about all the reasons you cannot "go out". You say you go to the park. Ask a woman to meet you there. You don't have to drink coffee. Just buy one for her. Can you go to a museum? If you get to know her better and you like each other, you can cook a meal for her.

Take her to a concert, go to a play. There are loads of graduate schools that put on excellent performances of all kinds that are very reasonably priced or free. How in the world do you expect to meet a woman if you do not move away from your computer screen? If you do not step out from. I paid for an eHarmony subscription for a year because I heard such positive reviews about their matchmaking algorithm, but found that many of the guys also had profiles on POF so I didn't see the point in paying anymore.

EHarmony was great in that you could only connect with someone with whom you were deemed compatible, but new matches were sent infrequently. POF allows anyone to contact anyone so it is easy to be bombarded with unwanted messages from incompatible suitors, but it's free. My biggest complaint about online dating is the deplorable lack of manners and grammar.

I don't believe I have ever received a message containing even one punctuation mark in the two years I've been a member on POF, and the messages can be outright lewd! I've also been the target of a determined fellow more than once, so it really comforted me to read this author experienced the same. I do not engage with users who are disrespectful, have clearly not read my profile, or lack even a basic understanding of spelling and grammar, and I typically delete these unwanted messages.

If you're reading this, guys, please take the author's advice and actually read our profiles before you randomly solicit us for sex, and for heaven's sake use complete sentences! I look for men who DONT want children I have them already, and finding someone who is happy to date a single mum Even if getting attention IS easy, does it mean the man is necessarily right for me?

I read the profiles carefully. And if they read mine carefully, they might discover that I am really not right for them. I get attention from men all the time. And I speak to men all the time. Finding a special person is not easy for a man or a woman. And once again guys, please remember I would love to hear your stories as well. I look forward to reading it. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Fairly attractive, keeps in shape, decent job, nice home asks one women out two years ago he met online, she was nice we had a nice dinner at a ridiculously expensive restaurant and seemed to get along ok.

At the end of the date she kissed me and said that she liked me but she wasn't ready to date anyone and the whole thing was a mistake and that she was married with a child. I am glad you enjoyed it. I swear I think I dated a guy once that was a serial killer. He creeped me out so much, I actually had to make up an excuse and run away from the date.

I am pretty sure there are bodies buried in that guy's backyard. Glad I got away from him! This had me laughing at times, but in the end it's all very true. I think I have come across almost every type of guy you listed while online dating. There's always that thought in the back of your mind like "I hope he's not a serial killer" lol. Luckily, none of my dates were otherwise I wouldn't be here to talk about it. A-ha, it was probably best to wait then. Sometimes things just work out best the longer you wait, I suppose. Well, We waited because 1. She was 16 legal in the UK where she is from and was when we met, and 2.

I was still living at home. I do agree that after the first day is too quick. However, I would also personally not wait 2 years either. If that worked for you, that is cool. I usually talked online for at least a few days or longer. Thanks for your comment and have a good day! How could you want to meet someone in person so fast, i had a gal ask me on the first day, and i dropped her and never spoke to her again. I met my wife on line and didn't mention meeting for two years Maybe meeting to soon is the problem.

Don't push you never know. I once talked to a guy online for several weeks and never met him. No matter how much I brought up the subject of meeting, he changed the subject. Funny thing is, he worked right down the block from me. It would have been easy to meet during a lunch break or after work. I had to give up on him!

For all I know, I was talking to your brother! My brother is not a gamer, but he's active with on-line dating with no intention of actually going on a real live date. It's way too messed up for me to decipher, but I'm sure he's not the only one. I think it's like belonging to Weight Watchers but not following their diet plan; you're a little in but not really. I want women to know about these guys like my brother. If the guy doesn't want to get together in the first couple of weeks, don't waste any more time and move to the next! The ones that don't even know your name but already love you, or is that just with that those creepers decide that they love me for life and want to marry me after a few minutes?

Sorry you feel that way about online dating sites. You certainly have the right to your opinion. I actually never had to approach any men online I was approached all the time by men, which is how I was able to write this hub. Good luck at the bars! Online dating is definitely mostly for chicks on the rebound, attention whores and women with low self-esteem.

That's why it's usually a last resort to dating. I learned it was better to let women hit me up online and I not message them at all. When I get messaged by women, they never say anything clever or funny, it's mostly just questions because without they're body or looks sadly women have little charm, or at least the ones I've dated which is a lot. Every possible greeting has been thought of so women don't understand that a simple greeting doesn't mean I'm like the last guy that gave you a simple greeting, that's why women tend to get weird shit messaged to them because we are trying not to be like the other hundred hellos you just received.

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Same with the like button, but I thought she really liked my so if I see online hell yeah I'm gonna hit her up. We like the same things according to the matched profiles so this should right, wrong. Hello, barely works in any type of way, introductions barely work, short or long, I've actually had my success at saying the most vulgar shit, getting cursed out then apologizing and saying that it was just a joke to make you smile.

I'll stick to bars and clubs where an answer to a question doesn't take hours from someone who"likes" me lol. Goodluck fishing gentlemen cause you are gonna need it to find a decent chick on these sites. Some men have a lot of nerve. I can't believe how some guys behave on those sites. I wonder if the reasoning behind it is something like, "if she does not like me yet, she will love me when I insult her.

I just bit the bullet with a dating website again and got to experience my very first Overly Aggressive Guy, who proceeded to insult me by implying that I was only out for dick pics, then when I sent my message to an earlier comment I hadn't had the pleasure of reading the dick message yet he decided to send me his phone number and mentioned that I should contact him, though he thought I was acting like I thought I was too good for him.

Like, ignoring you was a sign, dude. Oh and he pulled the: For all the ladies out there--hope it's true. But I sincerely doubt it! Thanks so much for the votes and for checking out my hub. I am always shocked at how many men post terrible photos on their profile in this day and age.

I mean, just about everyone has a digital camera or a camera on their phone. There is no reason for such terrible photos! And yes, the guys that mention sex right off the bat are pretty special, but according to some of my male friends, there are women out there that are happy to respond to just that. I like that you've made this article unique, in part, because you've given funny names to the various online crazies out there. You are so right in saying that some men's pictures resemble mug shots.

It's just so weird that anyone would post an ugly photos like that. I mean, really-- how can a man not understand that a picture needs to look pleasant, inviting and, well And don't you just hate it when guys online say how one of the most important things to them is Sex. Like women don't already know that about men. But at least with a guy like that, he's pretty much given you the information you need to press Delete and not waste another minute of your time.

Levertis Steele - I have heard of those online relationships. There are too many dishonest people out there. I was not sure how to categorize the total fakes that are lying about their gender, so I just kept that out of the hub, but you are so right. They are definitely out there. Thanks for your comment. I am glad you liked the hub, and yes, unfortunately most of it is totally happening on dating sites on any given day.

This is so true, but some of these guys--women too--are crafty enough to put on sheep's clothing in order to land their catch. How about the lonely gay guys and girls who pretend that they are the opposite sex in order to have an online affair with straight people? Some have even had the nerve to meet their "honey" with hopes of being accepted.

Imagine what this does to a masculine macho who has fallen head-over-heels in love. I sympathize with the single guys and gals who get fooled, but the married ones who are computer creeps--LOL! We've been together for almost a year I am glad I got to experience it for a while though.

Thanks for your comment! Online dating is definitely an adventure. Thanks for visiting my hub! This is a super article! While my online dating occurred in there are some very similar situations. I met two wonderful men and one creepy guy. So, be cautious everyone! Sadly I never got to experience online dating, but it sounds like you have covered every type of guy out there. I met my boyfriend online! I was quite lucky in that.

The Types of Guys You Meet Using Online Dating Sites

He turned out to be really nice in real life, plus we share almost the same interests. We've been together for 7 years. GwennyOh- unfortunately shows like Oprah and others like her focus on the bad, if they told good stories the ratings would fall through the floor. Sensationalism is what people care about, not the truth. I met my wife on line in 99 met n in for first time in person in 02, she moved here and we got married in 04, had our first baby in 11 and will be married for 10 years next year. If not for the web I don't know where I'd be. I have a pretty high tolerance for online "weirdness" now, but every now and then, I would still see a guy online that shocked me.

For now, I have been dating someone for 4 months I met online I am happily married but it is interesting to see how times have changed. I met my wife through my work and after awhile everything clicked. I can see how hard and scary it could be for any woman on a dating site. You scared me me away and I'm a guy. My cousin divorced looking for love in all the wrong places.

He agreed with you on many topics. I think old fashioned ways might still be the best way. GwennyOh - You have to be really careful with online dating sites. I am cautious, but I do take chances here and there. Some guys are weird, but there are plenty of nice guys, too. You can leave if you promise that you will go home and stop using online dating sites". I have been married for some time; so online dating is not something I have given thought to.

I saw an Oprah show many years ago, where women spoke of some seriously bad stuff that had happened to them due to meeting men they had corresponded with online. One woman had her skull crushed with a baseball bat. You just don't know who you will meet. But online dating sites are likely going to attract some members who have issues within 'real life' society. Online dating can be an adventure, but it is possible to meet a perfectly nice person while using the sites, too.

It helps to have a sense of humor until meeting that perfectly nice person. I will of course bear all this in mind if I ever succumb to internet dating. Voted up and funny. I am happy you enjoyed it. Online dating definitely has its ups and downs. I haven't laughed so much in a while. Enough to put anyone off online dating. I just try to look at it as an adventure and that works best. I am currently dating someone that does not fall into any of the categories above and I am pleased about that.

I never partook in online dating so I had no idea Best wishes in your continued search. I've had that happen too. Thanks for checking out my hub! Ardot - I've found the most successful online dating stories often begin with two people meeting without really looking for each other. There is less pressure and people act more like themselves. However, I do know two married couples that met on POF, so it can work on dating sites, too.

I am not too sure foot fetish gal exists either, but then again, I am not looking for her. Jmillis - I am happy you enjoyed my hub. Maybe you will give online dating a shot sometimes. Thanks for the vote up! I have never really tried online dating , but this was a very entertaining hub. In those days it was easy to be "the guy who says he is a girl and chats with guys as a girl" guy.

In those days the online dating scene was for prison inmates and weirdo's posing as people they were not. But seriously, I met her in the chat room but was not looking to meet anyone, I was just hanging out as a guy and happened to find a normal person who lived nearby. By not looking for love online, I have avoided all of the above profiles you have mentioned. I love the way you used humor to get across a real point. It can be very dangerous to meet face to face with anyone online. BTW, guys, stop looking for the elusive "foot fetish gal".

She does not exist as you imagine her. Thank you for your post. Nice to understand the online dating scene from a women's perspective. Only success story I have is running into a chick I dated and became friends after meeting again. And ohhh, a MySpace success story! I don't hear about too many of those, but I remember dating a guy or two from MySpace. Those dates actually went better than many of my POF dates.

Good point about not knowing until you're at mom's house haha. Reminds me of the movie Hangover. Oh yes, the Mama's Boy. There are plenty of them on dating sites. You just can't tell at first. It takes a date or two sometimes at Mom's house before you realize it. Really fun article to read. Just wanted to add Mama's boy. I do understand that, they can be hard to date when that's all they want to talk about. Even if you, yourself, play games it gets old. I have also dated the gamer guy in the past. He is not a horrible person, but typically gamer guy is not a fun date I prefer the gamer guy more then any of those guys.

I like games and find that if you run out of things to talk about then just ask them what game they are playing and within hours you are able to figure out all the cheats to your new game. I think I've dated just about all the guys on this list, too. There are some real weirdos out there! So awesome, I am 19 years old and have dated all these guys before or at least meet them online or in person.

Everything you said is basically true. Thanks so much for your comment! You are so right Turns out Dubai has better odds for dating. The most conflicting question between the two sexes were "men like playing video games a lot" and women don't like men playing video games. For one particular question that was asking what is the most annoying thing about dating online, women said "men just want hook ups" while men said "Sick of the same type of dates each time".

The "research" of this article seems pretty weak and uses a bad example. She was active for a week or less? Meanwhile, the guy had been active for months. Try reading this article: I tried online dating for a couple of years. I spent time writing my profile, adding pictures and trying to accurately list hobbies, etc.

I wrote crafted messages, carefully read profiles and was always respectful. I did not write to women who said "don't write me" for criteria I didn't meet. Most of the women were very much like the "alternet" article, above. They were not serious about a relationship even if they claimed to be and they took advantage of the situation. It's hard to blame them and they didn't mean any harm by it. It was simply "too easy". They could enjoy the ride for however long suited them and hop off when they wanted. The online dating experience for men is nothing like that. I definitely had to do all the work in addition to sending the first message.

Decisions were always left to me such as where to go. It was always my responsibility to make sure the date was interesting. It was up to me to provide or initiate interesting conversation. So, we'd go out once or sometimes more but then she'd stop responding. Almost exclusively, that was the way women dealt with it. There was only one I can remember that bothered to reply and tell me we weren't a match after a date.

More than one woman told me she wasn't interested via message before we dated and I appreciated the response and always said so, in a polite response. It's discouraging to hear how many men abuse women who take the time to say "no thanks". Decent men appreciate it, believe me! Sadly, the experience was fruitless and frustrating. Most of the time, women didn't respond and I had to work really hard to get those dates. This breeds an environment where men have to "shotgun" out messages. I've never done that but it might be the better way to have success.

I think online dating is bad for women because they get flooded with crap and at the same time, can fall into the trap of taking the good ones for granted. Online dating can be difficult for both sexes. However, it really is more difficult for men. That's just the reality of it. And I know it's not all bad. It's worked for a lot of people. Then women date a guy and when she learns of his Flaws, as no Man is perfect , she gets tired of putting up with less-than-perfect and then boot him to the curb.

In 30 seconds or less she is then back on the Internet searching for Mr Perfect, she finds the next Man and the vicious cycle repeats itself. I'm a woman, attractive, good head on her shoulders, financially independent.

And the experience you are describing is happening to me on match. The men I went on dates with just tried to hook up, although claiming that they are looking for a life partner on their profile. Looks like this is not a gender specific problem, but perhaps the majority of people on there being low quality. The problem here is pretty simple: Women know that they will get a shit ton of messages and likes, even the marginally attractive ones. Therefore, they have a reason to be as picky as they want. But that comes at a price. Most of those messages are awful and disrespectful. Men on the other hand get nowhere unless theyre, like someone else said "a non famous Brad Pitt.

In reality its only a small percentage of both parties that are shallow and only interested in "the book cover" so to speak. Leave them alone if they are not interested. Dont be a disrespectful creep, because not only will you not get anywhere yourself, but you will ruin it for all the nice guys. Give some of them a chance. The ones who arent being disrespectful dont deserve to be brushed off just because "eh, Ill get more like them anyway. Dont complain about how all guys are the same when you only go after certain types of guys and ignore ones that are possibly different.

They dont want someone to treat them like a sex object and make creepy remarks about their bodies. Also learn to take no for an answer. If shes not into it let it go, dont harass her. I agree with what the AW in the interview said. Most of the guys who messaged me were older men posing as men in their twenties. I got messaged a lot by guys who just were interested in hooking up, a decent number of which had fetishes, some of which were kind of terrifying. I went on 20 dates all of which ended in flames. One guy talked about his ex the whole time and then told me he planned to take me to his family reunion for the second date to meet his family.

Another told me he was talking me to dinner, drove me to his place and then demanded I clean his apartment if I wanted a ride home. Another completely lied on his profile and I thought he was just another nice college student. He was 35, jobless, living in his car because his ex threw him out and he was hoping he could crash with me in exchange for sex. The only successful date I went on was with a nice guy pretty far on the spectrum. Unfortunately we didn't match very well in real life and now are just friends. I'm incredibly introverted person so I have to say, I'm still pretty traumatized from the experience.

I messaged guys and only responded to messages that seemed to be from "nice" guys. I am not huge on looks, I could care less about colors or height or things. I really based my selection off of the profiles the guy's wrote. I don't care a ton about education level, I honestly was looking for a nice guy to sit down and talk to but got nothing more than a horror show. I work with all men so I am very sympathetic to the nice guys out there who get the short end of the stick.

It just takes a very thick skin, a lot of courage and energy for us ladies to put ourselves out there like that, same as you. A lot of nice girls aren't cut out for it, so try to be patient and understanding. It's obvious we speak different languages. Men, we need to stop being afraid of rejection. I'm happily single, but not for lack of options. If I see a pretty woman, I say hi. If she's into me, great. If not, her loss. If you work on being the man you want to become, you don't have to worry about some girl sifting through profiles to find you.

Geek or no geek dating: But this is my humble opinion after dating and trying for years. It's time to wake up and grow up i guess; maybe they would date real women for a change, or it will be pumping a soullessclone or avatar pretty soon. The elites are already on to it for 50 to 70 years Saying that men destroy the planet and all it's citizens provides a pretty good explanation of why you're finding what you find when you look for men. You used a 19 year old girl for this survey? She can't even qualify for half the profile questions AND she was online for 1 week?

I think the legitimate women are online because of busy work schedules and lifestyles and they don't hang out anywhere much My reason too..


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  4. The rest of the "flakes" yep , met three flakes in 2months online have insecurity issues , are demanding to the point that they should probably start adopting cats for the future they will eventually be that older woman with a bunch of cats , sad but So WHY would a woman resort to online dating if real life meetings and dating was working for her?

    Cause they were NOT working for her!! They were extremely unsuccessful in the real world so the last resort is get tons of attention online and live in that fantasy romance which will prob never happen.. Hi - No, actually at the time of this interview she was in her mid's and already married. She was talking about her past experiences with the service. The author says that men are mistaken when they think that women pick through messages and discard them all without answering.

    Then the author interviews a women who describes how and why she picked through messages and discarded them all without answering. Are men also mistaken to assume that women aren't putting any serious effort into finding someone via online dating while guys are laboring over carefully crafting personalized messages for months? Because the interviewed woman quit after one week and sent no messages. I was crushed when my boyfriend of three years left to be with another woman.

    I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. I wasted so much time and effort trying to get him back until I hit on the real thing. And that is Dr Mack. He was different from all the rest Thanks Dr Mack from the depths of my soul! I am extremely happy now.

    I don't think that's the case with online dating The problem is too many women are skipping through every guy interested, and looking for the tall dark and handsome guy in a sports car. It's like the women are standing above a box full of little puppies single guys and trying to decide which worth adopting. Guys can only hope someone will be merciful enough to answer any of our messages. I feel the same way about the guys looking at my profile.

    I actually told him that I was not a puppy that he got to pick out and decide to date. I don't answer most messages because it's a sexual comment or some other creepy message. I also don't give a second look to people who have nothing further than a high school education. I've gotten several messages saying "would you date a felon? I will also ignore messages from guys who have no job and live at home.

    I'm 34, I don't need that. Am I being too picky? I don't think so. I have also found that the guy who says he's the "nice guy" often isn't. That's the guy I'll go on a date with, I will SHARE the cost of dinner and whatever activity we choose, and then he gets pissed that I won't sleep with him on the first date. Some of your complaints seem legitimat --I've also found that women who claim to be "kind" and "caring" on their profiles are usually anything but. Once you've read the answers to their "match" questions, you discover they're extremely judgmental.

    And pressuring someone for sex is never acceptable. That aside, the rest of your comment seems excessively harsh. A college degree isn't necessarily a measurement of intelligence, nor is it an absolute factor in determining someone's income--these days a person can have a degree and still only find work that pays so little, they're forced to live with their family--school teachers would be an example, many are forced to drive Uber or Lyft to make ends meet.

    On top of that, many successful writers, artists, musicians, programmers, people working in tech, etc. But it seems many women like yourself rule out all these men because some are forced to live at home and others don't have degrees. This kind of attitude is what's creating the kind of experience men like the one in this article described--not just ones with serious emotional issues and troubled pasts.

    I would urge you, and all women using these apps for that matter, to greater consider your position. Passing up men for superficial reasons who you'd otherwise click with does no good for yourself. It will also destroy online dating as men start to realize they can't get a foothold and start leaving in droves. The thing that strikes me as strange is, on a visual medium where you 'look' for a partner, the undesirable, or relatively unattractive contestants are doomed from the start, why would either man or woman go out of their way to set themselves up for failure?

    I've met, and been enamoured by men that I wouldn't have looked twice at online, find a playing field that lets you play to the strength you have, instead of throwing yourself at the mercy of the Adonis that's only a click away! Go outside and find groups to meet people, go walking, join a band, anything! Socialising is far more likely to land you a date, and a real connection on top of that! Let's be honest here. Most not all women on dating sites are extremely demanding when it comes to selecting a merely casual dating partner. Let that sink for a moment.

    But if you think about it, why the heck they still searching googling these kind the dating sites cons of articles? Because all dating sites sell illusion, a digital age illusion. It's not because of their pretty faces or their slim bodies. In short, dating sites girls are usually have nothing else going on in their lives, aside from their smartphone notifications.

    They will never find that "click" feeling, EVER. Trust email him for any kinds of help is very capable and reliable for help Ultimatespellcast yahoo. Guys date European women so much more classy,engaging and fun. Dont play these silly immature games with women from america. They are way out classed in everyway. Women have all the power. Due to slut shaming they don't message guys first unless you're A a male model or B look like you have a lot of money. Online dating is pointless for men since men have to do all the work. Women have all the power if they are young, thin and pretty under Otherwise women are invisible.

    Yet, Ironically, women will spend their 20's chasing all those players and bad boys who will never in a million years settled for these girls only to figure out that by the time they hit 30, all of the guys they could have had are long gone an these players and bad boys want nothing to do with a 30 year old girl cuz they're still getting attention from the 20 year old ones. I haven't had to date a 30 year old EVER. Yes, I'm a man in my 40's who married a girl I met in my 30's.

    She was 19yo at the time and I married her years later. While in my 20's I was one of the "nice" guys who rarely could get a date, this was pre-online dating. While I spent a decade overcoming my shyness the "alpha" dudes were pounding the young women left and right, pump and dump, ignoring the masses of nice guys who could not compete for one reason or another, shyness, etc.

    Sad but true and an example of "Youth is wasted on the young women ", who don't know by experience how to make the best use of their youth PLEASE, Ryan - tell me that your entire article was a facetious ramble that was written late one night after you had consumed way too many drinks. Yeah - like two quarts of proof rum! I have never read a less informed article on inter-net dating. You have the sheer audacity to state that what you have written is 'the whole story'?

    You state this, based on two interviews? You, my friend, are naive, foolish and ignorant beyond belief. I would have more confidence asking a street sweeper to conduct a triple bypass on someone's heart than to rely on your advice on dating. Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best 'focused and pro-active' option.

    Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife. And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner.

    Pay close attention to what I have written my good sir - you married young and have only been married 15 or so years. That's a bit harsh isn't it? What's Ryan ever done to you apart from waste a few minutes of your time reading his article.. That poor guy might not have all the answers but his article still provides food for thought - in my humble opinion please please don't bite my head off for it!

    And while I had the same reaction as you, that ironically one day Ryan too might end up on a dating site, I really wish for him that he does not because dear god it is an ugly parallel dimension! Ryan, may your happily ever after last forever! We're already planning the places we'll be traveling together during our retirement.

    But thanks for offering your perspective. Happy to hear of your success. All the best to ya and many more happy memories come your way! I have tried online dating on and off for a year, 2 years after my divorce. Met a few in real life. First one seemed decent, professional, fit and all but too arrogant and thinks he's perfect. Second guy almost stalked me so poof, I was gone!

    Third, I actually ended up dating. Normal looking guy with a decent job and seems to be responsible but way too insecure. Currently talking to someone for 4 months now, the very last one I met online. I don't know where this is going but I don't worry whether it works or not. I am the type who lives in the moment. We talk everyday and are getting along very well. But I have deleted my account online, not because of him but because the people I saw on one site are the same people I have Encountered on another.

    Same creeps who thinks they are 10 just bec they are muscular. I am well toned but never considered myself a Most people online think so highly of themselves but once you start talking to them, red flags started to come out. Pictures are so outdated, like 10 years or so ago And those are just some issues I have encountered. People online are serial daters. Call me old fashion but once I start dating someone regularly seeing him , I don't entertain any other men. I feel like I am not giving this one a fair chance if I do.

    But most people online don't think that way, they think they always have a "reserve" so they don't take one person seriously and wolf easily let go of one. I don't blame them as there are too many people online to choose from. So good luck to all online daters! I think the most relevant thing you say is people are serial daters. Most people I meet online, especially the hot ones, are some of the most insecure people I've met Makes em feel better. I just want to meet a girl I could be friends with before I start dating her.

    It is nice to get a male and female perspective on their expereiences. I never thought I would be trying online dating at my age over I am from the old school world of dating and have found online dating to be awkward and uncomfortable, not a fun way to meet people. I put up a direct, honest profile, stating what I was looking for on more than one different site. It has been extremely hard to find honest, genuine guys locally. I get turned off by guys calling me gorgeous, not saying more than hi, instead of simply asking questions to let me know that they are seriously interested in getting to know me.

    When a guy does write me to say something more than "Hi," I have found out that a lot of guys have had their own drama with women. I hear the same thing over and over: Once you finally find someone who is looking for the same kind of relationship as yourself, you find you are both very skeptical of each other. I have only been able to go on a hand full of meet and greets only to find no connection. So, I too am trying to find outside interests to get away from the social media and hopefully, find the kind of relationship I am looking for.

    Trying to remain hopeful and realistic. I also do not want to settle, as that is unhealthy, dishonest and not fair to both parties. I wish everyone the best of luck in searching for that special guy or lady! Since I've never been married, outside of a few long term relationships, I've been dating offline and online for a long time.

    They get hundreds of emails, and a lady you may have met at the gym who is a 5, thinks she's a solid 8 online. In the last year alone, I've met 4 women who said they were divorced but were really separated all with really unique stories as to why their divorce wasn't final. Turns out, 3 of those 4 had family violence felonies pending against them!

    The 4th, I should have got up and walked out after she started talking. Not only did she lie about the little things on her profile, like having a degree, her occupation, and marital status, but she was a solid 2 compared to her pictures. What did all the women I've met online have in common, a solid relationship with their phone. Now I call them out on the phone issue and I don't care what they think of me. If you can't take 30 minutes or an hour and put your phone in your purse or leave it in your car like I do, then stay at home browsing, FB, POF, Match, Instagram, or whatever else is the in app.

    I think you're giving women far too much credit. Granted there are guys out there that are creeps and they probably never leave the house and use somebody else's pictures, but I'm willing to bet they're few and far between. I see no reason that a decent looking woman has to resort to online dating , unless she is super busy which i beleive is a great alternative for a busy person..

    Essentially playing the role of the opposite equivalents of their male trolls , jerks and perverts You know what I'm a nice guy who's romantic, successful, and respectful and I get passed by and ghosted once things start to get real. I think women like the idea of a relationship but have horribly overblown expectations. The three things I keep coming across are women who have no time to commit, just broke up recently and shouldn't be dating or they think far too highly of their prospects. Close your eyes picture the perfect guy now open them.

    If you were that perfect guy would you settle for you? Having tried internet dating and meetup, I personally prefer "live and in person" approach to finding a match. Here is a point by point breakdown of the two different approaches. Dating sites -spend a lot of time setting up a profile which you hope will convey my personality and attract interesting guys -answer some multiple choice questions with four answers, none of which actually work for me really, I have to choose between a. I just want sex b. I'm okay with sex on the second date c.

    I always wait for the third date before having sex d. I'm a complete prude who will never ever ever have sex.? Hey, since I'm definitely not comfortable with the whole casual sex thing, I guess I must be a complete prude. Now I'm feeling really great about myself! Okay, I'm interested in guys within a km radius, between , looking for a relationship, between , doesn't smoke, between , is single, between Yeah, I got a bunch of "hey sexy! Look through some more profiles, send a few more messages. Show up, and the evening starts off really nice This guy doesn't seem to get it that I'm not that into hearing ghost story after ghost story.

    Okay, now he's trying to talk me into going to some dark secluded area on a ghost hunt What female in her right mind goes to a dark, secluded area with a guy she's just met? The whole internet dating experience is highly unpleasant. Meetup groups -create a profile, upload one picture, answer a few questions about interests, and I'm good to go -okay, let's see what meet ups are happening in my area. Join meet ups -pick an event that works with my schedule, show up for an evening of board games at a pub -have a nice meal out, play some fun games, meet some nice people. Hey, I didn't meet the love of my life, but at least I had some fun, right?

    Meet a nice guy, exchange emails Plus, meeting people in person just feels more natural. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites; lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect.

    Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off. I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined. It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance. Nature didn't takes it's course as it did over That just doesn't work, period.

    She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself.

    Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can't control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media. I've been on Plenty of fish, okCupid, and Zoosk since November.

    It is now April. On PoF, I got lots of views, but the only message was an offer to sell me drugs. On okCupid, I didn't even get but a few views, and no messages at all. On Zoosk, I got lots of views and lots of winks, but only from guys out of the state, and again, no messages. On Zoosk and PoF, I even tried messaging guys first, but no responses.

    Almost all of friends married guys they met on these sites, but I have no idea how they did it. It's like you're describing my experience on the dating sites. I sit down, think of witty things to write to guys, and I get nothing back. One evening, I read like 10 profiles, made custom messages that I felt were well thought out.

    This is on both OKCupid and Match. I do have one guy on OkCupid though who likes to send me dick pics I've met my girlfriend on a dating site. But I've read literally hundreds of profiles, contacted dozens of women, went to a dozen of a really bad dates before I've found someone. The problem is you're messaging guys out of your league. Close your eyes and think of the perfect guy now open them. Would you as that perfect guy settle for you? I'm not messaging guys out of my league.

    I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he's going to be a little hefty, he's going to have a receding hairline and his face won't be clean shaven, he's going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he's also not going to be hugely successful, but he'll have his act together, he'll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I'd date me because I'm pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I'd be.

    I think perhaps you're reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others. Kim, if you're not getting replies, you simply aren't attractive. I'm not being mean just being real. Don't kid yourself for the sake of saving your ego. I agree with you, Kim. It's the men who are delusional. I'm an average looking 35, slim but not gorgeous woman and I've had terrible luck online. Men DO assume that women have it made on dating sites, and we can just sit back and let the decent messages roll in. It's only the women who are under 30 and look like models who can do that.

    I started online dating when I was 26 and a size 3. It didn't work for me much better than it does now. Men who look like George Costanza think they deserve Jessica Alba. And, will ONLY message the super hottest women out there. While we try to message guys in our own age range, with a similar level of looks and intelligence and get ignored.

    It's a waste of time and I am so done with it. There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 50 years or so.

    I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online. However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.

    In my case, I've had several dates from these sites. The first gal profiled herself as The next gal was very nice and I had met her at a gym that we both were members several years back. Very attractive woman, but I was sure that I would be happy being with her every day for the rest of my life. I could have continued into a relationship with her just for companionship and sex, but that's not who I am. I have to be convinced that I am falling in love with a woman, or could do so, before I am willing to fall into bed with her. Old school, I guess. That last gal messaged me relentlessly.

    She stated in her profile that she was "curvy"she was not, she was obese. Now here's the interesting thing. Like most other men here, I don't get a lot of message responses via online dating.