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Using sexual innuendo for example, will bring sex into the conversation in a fun, playful way. You can also ask her about her dating life and openly talk about your own. A key part of learning how to start dating a friend is learning how to increase sexual tension.

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That means touching the girl more and more during your conversations. You can start light, by just tapping her elbow and shoulder, and slowly work your way up to resting your hand for longer periods of time on her shoulder, back, leg, etc. Doing this is going to help you for a few reasons: First, it gets the girl more comfortable with physical contact from you.

Secondly, touch releases chemicals in the brain that makes her feel good.

Figure Out How to Start Dating a Friend - Helpful Tips

Invite the girl over and watch a movie. At the beginning, just look to cuddle with her. As time goes on start to stroke her hair, lightly rub her thigh, etc. The first time I made it was when I was I went away for the summer after my freshman year of college, assuming that the letters and packages and emails my dude sent me meant we were in a serious, committed relationship. It did to me — but not to him.

A step-by-step guide to having the "what are we" conversation with someone you're dating

When I came back to town in the fall — actually, before the fall because I missed him so much — he abruptly left me for the girl who lived across the hall. She wore striped knee socks and played the guitar. I would watch him come over to visit her through my peephole. She later became a famous rock star and dumped him.

10 Perfect Questions to Ask on a First Date

I learned that girls who wear striped knee socks are trouble, yes, but I continued to make assumptions about exclusivity up until my 30s, and usually ended up the ass who got my feelings hurt. After my 30th birthday, I decided to take the opposite approach and go out of my way to leave my options wide open until the dude broached the subject of exclusivity.


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I thought somehow, this dating lots of people thing and not committing myself too soon was supposed to make me feel more powerful. It made me feel like even more of an ass, just in a different way.


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When we finally became exclusive, I thought all this anguish was worth it. But my exclusive guy ended up dumping me a few months later. My feelings were still hurt. After all of this, I made a decision for myself: I can only date one person at once. Recently, my stance on the matter was tested.

So here are some tips for making the exclusive talk a little easier and a lot less scary and sweaty.

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Sometimes we start important talks with an attitude of discovery. Make a mental list of what you want from the relationship and what you need to find out to feel comfortable. Every relationship is different and evolves at a different pace. This is not going to please your friends who are worried about you and want to protect you from broken hearts and STIs.

Just be safe and speak up the moment you feel uneasy, because your feelings matter.