1. We go into a date expecting it to turn into a relationship

However, there is a powerful alternative to this fallacy: To act consciously, as you probably know, begins with an awareness of what serves your highest and best and the highest and best of those with whom you interact.

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It is a commitment to act or participate only in situations or circumstances that support that highest and best outcome. To date consciously means we stop trying to make our love lives look like the movies and instead devote ourselves to attracting that which serves us and whomever we love mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This may be worlds away from your current dating style. Here are five actionable keys to dating consciously for a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life:.

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When a relationship ends, we tend to blame and villainize the other person. Many people refuse to speak highly of their exes at all and only reminisce about the unpleasantness of the relationship. However, this is detrimental to our personal growth and is a missed opportunity to better ourselves for our future relationships. Regardless of how awful or loving our relationships are, a breakup is an opportunity to expand our awareness.

Both parties in a relationship always contribute to the success or downfall of that relationship. A breakup is the perfect occasion to reflect on your contributions. Instead of blaming our exes, we benefit by examining our weaknesses and then choosing to work on the issues that may be hindering us. If we feel inferior, we will attract partners whose love we feel we always have to earn.

If we feel lovable and powerful, we will attract people who are loving and supportive of our personal power. By perceiving with detachment the types of people we keep ending up with, we can begin to dig into the personal issues that contribute to that pattern. We have so many external influences rolling around in our heads when we try to make decisions about potential partners that we often forget the most crucial piece—how you actually feel about someone. We get stuck on the should s: It is only by knowing how we feel that we can honor those feelings.

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If you have developed awareness of your own triggers, however, you can turn inward and spend some time investing in the things that make you feel loved by yourself rather than demanding validation from a partner. As long as you see yourself as lacking something, you will always look for completion in another person. Feelings that go unacknowledged and unhealed fester over time and eventually pass the point of potential healing. Doing personal work before you enter a relationship helps to ensure you are setting yourself, and your relationship, up for success.

Letting go of someone who is not serving our highest good can be challenging. Not letting go of a relationship that is holding you back is one of the most self-destructive behaviors in dating. If someone is incapable of committing to serving their highest self, they will undoubtedly not be able to serve yours.

Dating is not charity. We cannot stay in a relationship because someone has had a rough life, feels bad about themselves, or because we are the only ones who see the goodness in them. Whether a partner is indulging in self-loathing behavior or has simply grown in a different direction, our commitment must always be to let go of that which no longer serves us, in the most loving way possible.

We cannot have a loving, accepting, supportive, healthy relationship if we do not know or respect ourselves. A person who does not love or respect themselves is incapable of accepting and appreciating love and respect from others. We tend to think of our partner as our other half, but we should not be looking for someone to complete us; we should be completing ourselves.


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Knowing ourselves, who we are, what we want, and what we are capable of allows us to bring our whole selves to our relationships. Love is not about completing each other. True, healthy love is about loving ourselves so completely that when we fall in love with another person, we expect them to love us as much as we love ourselves. We become so full of self-love that they reflect it back to us and we reflect their self-love back to them.

We often perceive dating as two halves making a whole. Instead of feeling needy, you feel generous.

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Dating yourself and flirting with other men makes you feel strong inside. It makes you feel wanted and desirable. Most important, it makes you feel that you have choices about how to be fulfilled and happy. Having the right kind of vibe is the key to finding the right man and inspiring his love and devotion.

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Keeping the Focus on Yourself

Food has the power to create a happier and healthier world. Celebrity Nutritionist Kelly LeVeque will show you how. Group 8 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch. Email Created with Sketch. Group 9 Created with Sketch. Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch. What Circular Dating Means. Keeping the Focus on Yourself.

1. As you're moving through your daily routine, stay present.

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