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I found out that the easiest way to meet someone on this free dating site was to be active. The moment I logged into the site my profile jumped to the top of the list and became highly visible. The best way to find success on a free dating site is by being active.

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You have to put in the time and that means logging on several times a day and chatting with someone who may or may not be who she claims to be. This is where a pay site has a distinct advantage over a free dating site in the online dating game — the security.

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In my four days on this free site, over women expressed interest in my profile. This led to dates with two amazing women, one of whom I am still dating. In the end, it comes down to personal preference.

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If you place a monetary value on your time and user experience and the added security features are important to you, than registering with a pay site is the way to go. I see value in both. Frank Hoffmann, 31, lives in Toronto. Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: The process was simple. I painted my ideal match with very narrow strokes so my expectations of responses were fairly low.

I expected 30 to 40 response at most?


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In the end I got The user experience was phenomenal. All the matches came into my inbox. The first few weeks were excellent and the profiles matched my expectations. After two months, I stopped accepting new matches. The matches yielded three dates, all of which came within the first week.

I wanted my online dating experience to mimic real world dating as much as possible. Free dating sites are notorious for fake profiles and people with bad intentions. That aside, it was the freedom of choice that attracted me to try out PlentyofFish for a few days. It took about two minutes to create a profile that included little more than my picture and age.

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Some guys are truly creeps though, bleh! I know, but I have heard so many funny stories of creeps that I will try to keep a positive attitude and know that the dates with creeps just means great stories later on. At least that is what I keep telling myself. A 30 day challenge is fun and challenging, but at the same time, at the end of 30 days, will you end up settling for someone rather than getting the person you want?

If I can promise you anything I never settle, especially in love. Not all of them. Haha I think there are weirdos everywhere. But you know even when I was dating the regular way I met weirdos anyway. As cheesy as it sounds and while I am slow to admit it you have emboldened me! Surprisingly, I met a few really nice guys, one of which I probably would have ended up dating were he not moving to Alaska. Right, I at least met some pretty decent guys that proved to me some were still out there.

Some of my male friends are doing online dating and they are nice, normal guys. And meeting people in person is FUN, at least for me. In my experience, dating should be more like a game than a job interview— and online dating approximates a recruitment process more than genuine human interaction.

I understand there are other variables at play— what the singles scene looks like where you live, what your life and schedule are like, all that. But to me, there are just too many ways to meet people elsewhere— either by actively seeking them out or by sheer coincidence— to resort to the artifice of online dating.

I so agree with this!

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The few dates that I did get through online sites always ended up feeling like job interviews. They completely lacked the excitement and anticipation of meeting someone by chance and hitting it off. Jorge I understand where you are coming from. I have never had an issue meeting people, but it is an interesting experiment.

I have gotten advice from others not to spend too much time chatting online, that if I see someone interesting to go for drinks immediately because it is easy to be witty online but the chemistry can fall flat in person. My family was horrified when I told them, and my friends told me I should lie about where I met these men if anyone asked. It really is your duty to your married friends to provide them with great dating stories. Then I met Warren at work, and he made fun of all my dating exploits online and eventually asked me to lunch.

The rest is history. So you may or may not find what you are looking for online, but it may directly lead to what you do want. There was definitely a stigma to online dating years back, maybe it is just because I am in the city but everyone does it here. In fact my friend who urged me to get into it sent me an email today asking for dinner because apparently I was matched with him.

I tried it a couple of times. That is hilarious, I have definitely set parameters. I also did a profile of five couples who met online for one of my freelance clients. It is always good to hear, especially when the comments section is a bit frightening, that people have done it with success. You get back home, and everyone wants you settled down!!!! In fact, with all our travelling, I think it makes perfect sense.

And be open to more than 30 days. Moderate your expectations, date people you might not have otherwise, and take it as a chance to learn about what really works for you while meeting some interesting people. I have another friend who spent thousands dating several times a week, only to walk into the wrong bar one night and meet the love of her life. But she credits her online dating with giving her the tools to make it work.

I did not know you guys met on eHarmony. You make a good point though, I am pretty mobile so I could look beyond my own city. I did a day challenge of my own in when I lived in NYC. I have friends that met through online dating and are happily married now. Online dating sounds awful but makes for some good stories. Hopefully after you find Mr. Right, you can look back and laugh at all the wackos you encountered along the way.

Maybe try somewhere you have to pay for like match. These things should happen naturally when the time is right. Why are you single? What are you like as a partner to live with?

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Are you a big loo user in the mornings or would you risk a work poo? It was really frustrating to use too. As for the comments about online dating in the UK, I think you get a mix of people on any site. I love your response to that guy.


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I know some people who had great success with eharmony. Please create at least one profile that is intentionally ridiculous and share the URL here, for fun. I think that there are good people out there; you just have to be lucky. Crossing my fingers for you. I always met people who had these wonderful success stories. About three years ago, I hit a rough patch in my dating life, and my friend, a busy lawyer, and I, an unbusy English instructor — went on a free website. The results made me want to curl up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

Some of the e-mails were terrifying: I only went on two dates and after a month, deleted my profile. And then you know, went on a worldwide trip a few years later and met the man who is now my boyfriend on the second day of my trip. I hope the online dating foray goes well for you! But you must give it time. My advice- go for it. Thirty days may or may not be enough time.

I think it all depends on luck. If you are lucky you will meet a fellow right off the bat who is interesting, nice, cute all those things. If not, no loss. If you are lonely, you may have to lower your standards. If you are just doing it as a lark, keep your standards high. It comes when it comes, if at all. There is no shame in being single either, especially if you have a lot of friends. While I like hearing my friends online dating tales, part of me is happy I met Scott right before Match.