I kept telling him that I had plans, but he just kept lying there in my bed smiling and laughing as I got angrier and angrier. Finally, after at least an hour of arguing, I got in the shower, got dressed up and went into town — on my lazy day! It was only when I demanded he leave because I was obviously leaving, that he left, too. Sometimes there are no answers in life, and even if there were, would you want to know them? However, Mandy, 36, would like to know. Yes, I went there specifically to take him home. So, we had sex, and it was a lot of fun!

The next morning I left him in my bed and went to work. When I got home I noticed that pretty much all my non-perishable items in my kitchen, as well as my expensive pens — I love fancy pens — were gone. Yes, I was sleeping with, like, two of them, but it was a dick move on her part, because we were, and still are, broken up.

Um, duh, lock, hide, or give your phone to a friend when an ex is around. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Yes, you might end up back at their place, and it will feel unreal. You might even go to voicemail. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. You realize it really is over. I was upset about it because I was excited to see him. He ended up saying he made plans with a girl instead. I got jealous and freaked out. Asked if it was a date and who she was etc. I ended up finding out who she was. His best friend Aaron has a girlfriend named Carly. Also, he did not mention to Aaron or any of his other friends he hung put with Amy although Amy is friends with his friends.

I never met her. I did meet up with him the next week I initiated it. Although I intended on sleeping on the couch I ended up in his bed and we slept together. I left for work the next morning and that night he invited me over with his 2 friends. One of the friends was Amy!

She was drunk and was going to walk with his other friend to sleep at their house. I offered to drive them but she was like no you stay. I stayed at my Exes, and well slept with him again. I was sober and I just felt used. He basically told me to leave the next morning even though we had the day off. I felt good because it seemed Amy was not a threat. However, a week later last week I find out she spent 2 nights friday and Saturday so the whole weekend at his place. I ended up meeting my ex 2 days after that and sadly spent the night again.

But saw evidence in his garbage that he slept with someone. My guess is obviously Amy. However he did not know that she spent Saturday night too. I saw him again this week 2 days ago , and well hooked up with him again. It was really good between us but as usual he did not cuddle me and I left the next morning. I only see him later, and I always leave in the morning. Unlike her who seems to be allowed stay the next day. He is clearly messaging her more than me. Also, he is hiding his meet ups with Amy from his friends but tells them when he hangs out with me.

I doubt he wants anything serious with her, and well I doubt he is going to parade her in front of his friends. Especially his best friend Aaron. On top of it, he lives with his mom! His mom can clearly see he is juggling the 2 of us. Should I continue seeing him and not sleep with him? This situation seems hopeless because even if I cut him off from sex he is clearly getting it from Amy.

Since my last comment, my ex invited me to a movie 2 weeks ago but he did not ask me to spend the night. It was super late at night and a relative was staying the week so maybe it was because of that? That hurt and I asked if there was an issue or problem between us. After this conversation he ignored my texts. I was confused because he claimed we were cool. I tried days later. He knows he can get away with it too because he knows he has me wrapped around his finger.

I wanted to show him this is not the case. I know it was dramatic but I needed to get his attention…. I asked him what he expected from me. This conversation happened 5 days ago. I did text him today to see if we could do something this week. But I would like to have successful text conversation and hang outs. What do you suggest I do to raise my value in his eyes and make him want to talk and see me?

I also snuck a peek at his phone quickly last time I was over and saw they message constantly super flirty, and well he stopped being flirty with me the moment she came into the picture. I have a feeling he wants to commit to Amy and is scared to tell me. It will give me a fresh start.

See if he initiates and actually cares about me enough to want to see me and know whats going on in my life. Any other suggestions to help my case when he practically has a new girlfriend? The truh is, he would likely not care or not notice if you nc because he has a new girl.. O but another event has happened.

EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?

I wasnt sure what to say. But I simply said I know its ok. And I questioned why all of a sudden he is having this talk with me in the back of my mind I thought maybe he wants to commit to Amy. I did in the past because sex is great. He seemed to have more in his mind. Not knowing how to bring her up. Guilty that he would still sleep with me even though they are clearly something.

When Wednesday happened I thought we were on the road to being back together. Now Sunday night he is friend zoning me. I have no idea how to proceed. Do I even have a chance of getting him back? What can I do to help my chances? I think you became too available.. Try to do a mini nc, like nc and then after that do a jealousy moves as well and continue to do what you started in your first nc to improve yourself. More has happened since the softball night Wednesday. I went to his place Friday after work. We made the plans at the beginning of the week. He was in a weird mood.

But then never got up to do it. Ok get Sangria stuff? No not in the mood. It was not great. Life is so hard right now. Clearly he made me leave so he could have her over. Wednesday was soooo great now this. It was always pretty obvious. However, he actually invited me to his first ever softball match yesterday. Then we went to bed. I was going to be a tease but he did not try anything. He kissed it when he got up. Why the sudden sweet affections? Plus why did you not want to have sex? I ran into my ex and we had a few too many drinks…flirtation was running rampant and he ended up kissing me…and things went a little further than they should have.

Hi Chris, I have known my ex bf for 6 years. We were together for 3 years and we broke up in After we broke up, we still kept in touch and was sleeping with each other. How should I move on from here? We care for each other and our dynamics is great. I can see that he is insecure and takes his cues from me eventhough he is 35 years old,owns his own company, very sociable and seems very confident. He has however become a fatter than he was 6 years ago. I am not sure if that plays a part in him being insecure eventhough he acts like he doesnt care.

I do know that he is getting to know women from okcupid and Tinder but many rejected him. I was also thinking of letting him know that I would only sleep with him he was in a committed relationship with me but he seems to have withdrawn a bit because of work related stress and mental torture as he would call it so I am giving him space. I was hoping you could advise me Chris. I do want him back. I just want to know how to move on from here? He still wants me to sleep over and do things with him max twice a week no sex involved of course. I want him to be commited to me.

Be more busy with your own life.. Hi, I am not giving him any benefits. We just hang out and we havent been sexual for almost 2 months. So he asked what I was up to and i told him that my friend was having a party this weekend and i accidentally invited him! I was with my ex bf who broke up with me after things got kind of serious about 3 weeks ago and things got pretty hot and heavy. Now I am going to see him again this week and I was just wondering if it would be too much to sleep with him?

Just curious as to what I should do because I have no idea what he wants. When he first started dating me he did SOOO many romantic things and made it pretty clear he wanted me both physically and emotionally. The one thing I will say that kind of hinted he missed me was that he had kept the bottle of champagne he bought me for my birthday and it was still in his fridge, unopened..

No idea what I should do.

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I had sex with my boyfriend while we are broken up. Since then I was always the one initiating contact, telling him I miss him, love him, etc. He tells me he loves me too, is still in love with me, etc, but just does not want to be with me right now. I started the NC for 30 days. What do you think about the situation, and do you think NC will be effective? I loved his kids and gave then structure and security like my daughter had!

If he was to drunk to take them to school I did! Even said he was jealous that I was doing so great cause he moved back to his moms! I took him back! He was hired to help open a new restaurant and again still drinking to excess every night! Not a seeing his phone but showing up at my house at 2,3,4 am drunk! He asked me to marry him without a ring! My family and friends hate u! Him and my mom get jnti because of him hitting me in the past and my mom hits him a few times which he said he deserved but my mom kept provoking a fight and then he ends up hitting my mom.

Hooking Up With An Ex

He calls around 5: I was posers but I picked up the kids! He wrecked his car driving drunk home from the bar learlier that month hit out and ran and is still making 2 car payments cause they could not locate him fur the police report! Ok , thanksgiving was great , had it at my house with both families , my family was my aunt and my daughter but his whole family was there! My aunt in Chicago is like my mom and she cannot stand him. She is coming to visit and I try to stand my ground with her telling her that we are working in things and that he is treating me better!

She does not wAnt him around for her visit! He freaks out tells me I let other people run my life and we break up for a week! During that time he tries to quit smoking and us taking chantix.

138 thoughts on “EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?”

He goes out kind night loses his phone and can not remember anything. A few dats later I get a call from a mutual friend and she tells me he showed up at another friends house freaked out on that guys girlfriend hit her and trashed their house and tipped over his friends motorcycle. I told him he was gonna to end up cheating in me with a girl he sells a car to then he said the dealership made him sign something stating that he would not fraternize with customers! I said fine but we are fine but I will be ther for u to support u through aa ,I told him I was tired and my daughter was home and I have school and work in the morning and he left!

Yeah right this man does not plan a fuvking thing ever more than 3 days in advance! Ok so we work in things. Yeah , I was! Right , he loves attention! So he calls me in Monday mar 2 cause he wants to see me this week to talk. He asks if he can see me for my bday mar 4 th , I said fine. The next day we both took off work and spent the day together it was really nice even had a nice weekend! That mon mar 9 he was gonna come by to bring me cigs , he said if be sleeping but I told him to wake me up.

I go fine stairs to lick my door and I see the cigs I text him an apology , the next day he blocks my number and is seeing a new girl! Then callsme Friday mar 13th cause he wants to talk. I told him he could come get my house key and that he could stay the night cause he was moving that weekend. He comes to get the key but ends up storming out cause he said I was flirting with a customer. The new girl helps him move and he tags her in FB. I wait a few days and I text him to ask how the move went and who his new friend is he lies and says what new friend?

Then he calls and says he misses me and that he does not as want that girl. I had FB messages her every time he came over and we had sex so she knew what a dog and a liar he is. Why would I want him back after all of this! Ther is something wrong with me I know! My name is Mickala. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years on Feb 28, When I met him he was leaving his ex wife of 15 years 13 of those they were married. He met her scoring drugs and since he was headed to jail for a DUI she was fun to party with. He went off to jail and she sent him a letter stating she was pregnant and there is a possibility it was his.

He found out later the child was not his but loved him and adopted him. They had another child that was his and he married her the day before he went to jail again. She consummated their marriage with another man. They were both meth addicts for a very long Time. He quit cause he wanted more and they attempted to save the relationship with another child and that just made it worse. My daughters dad is very successful and I would have had a life of luxury but I felt sorry for the guy I was dating and this time I wanted love! Not someone that looked good on paper or someone that could spoil me.

I thought I had found true love! The first year was good. I chalked his drinking up to mid life Chrisis cause he was approaching 40, going through a divorce and not seeing his kids to much. I know , he does not sound good but I believe in second chances and that there is good in everybody! I helped him in every way a good girlfriend should! Threw bday parties for his kids made sure when they visited there was good and the house was clean.

He did little surprises for me too. In feb of by best friend was getting married in Vegas. My boyfriend at the time just bought a new car and said it would be great bonding if we drive and that it would be great for me to be there for my best friends wedding.

Had a graft time! After the wedding dinner my friends were going out I was beat and I told him to go out I was going to bed. I let it go!

A month later was my birthday and it was Great! He wanted me to move In with my daughter and his 2 girls! He got full custody of his daughters his ex kept their son. I moved in late March. I lost my phone while we were moving and had to use his to call mine to find it. I did not like the pic of me that he had I. His phone so I started to look through pics to see if there were any better ones. I found a pic if a girl flashing her bra to him at his work. He was promoted as GM at a local restaurant that I worked at part -time and where we met.

Anyways after they closed him and employees would hang out and drink and party. He said he had no friends his age so he became friends with his employees. Many late nights if drinking and me at home worried about h getting another DUI. I was furious and just wanted to unpack and get settled. I was upset and I rolled over and went to bed. The next 3 weeks he came home only 3 or 4 nights.


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He stayed out one night all night and never came home or called and I was worried! I had to go to work and get the older one to school and get the younger one to his moms house. Finally about 10 am I hear from him and he said great thinking girly! Thanks for taking care if the girls! I knew he was cheating and drinking so I moved out 3 weeks later! During those 3 weeks was one of the first times he was physical with me.

I moved out and a few days later he came to his senses and begged for me to come back. I told him no! I gave in on both In the end. We moved in again in august if with all 3 of his kids and my daughter. His ex wrecked into a house with his youngest in broad daylight and had his youngest child with her. She was cited for every substance and paraphernalia u can think of no insurance and child endangerment.

He got full custody of all 3 of them. While moving in we both lost out jobs but I always have a second job to fall back on so I was good! He had to find a new job. He took a job as a gm of a high end sushi restaurant and had 2 work 6 days a week. I figured he would make an effort to be home every night since he worked so much , no , again he made friends with the staff and went out drinking every night after work. He came home every night but not until after the bar was closed. One weekend he went out to watch football.

I called him and asked when he would be home. He was upset cause I asked him and told me he does what he wants. He did not come home until the next day. I found him at his teenage daughters friends moms house.

I Hooked Up With My Ex Now What?

He swears he did nothing with her! Ok so for a few weeks he comes home and drinks instead of going out but then he starts going out again! Found out he had been cheating on me with his ex! I expected that in the beginning but 2 years later? I felt bad so I ran out and got them a bunch if stuff my daughter was already taken care of but u picked up where he left off! I waited on the couch for him one night to come home.

When I woke up he came in angry and dragged me around the living room and choked me for about 2 hours!


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His 2 older kids heard everything! The next day he says he was done and was sorry. I was just shocked and again we had a lease. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary with an awesome night out! Trying to repair things. A few weeks later I meet him after work for drinks! Sometimes the only time I got to spend with him!

I blacked out and all I remember is him punching me and pushing me out if the car. I found a ride home. My aunt was at our house with my daughter. When I got home he suggested counseling then took it back cause we have to be honest and him hitting me could put him in jail. The next 2 nights he comes homes and makes love to me and does not pull out. After my bday we go out again and at the end if the night he fessed up to all of his cheating and apologized!

I say nothing cause I am just shocked! I decide to terminate he freaks out and begs me to have it cause he gets better with every kid he has had or just have the baby and give it to him. He laughed cause it was at Patricks day and said no! He went to the clinic to terminate the pregnancy but did not speak to me for about 6 weeks! He said he was hurt and could not believe I hurt him like that and that we were over. I looked for a new job and secured my new place for me and my daughter! I moved out the week of July 15th he moved out at the end if the month.

My friends and aunt helped me move , not him but he wanted me there to help him move! I visited him overseas for a week and we hooked up, only to claim that it was because he still have residue feelings of the past relationship with me. What should I do? Should I go back to the 30 days NC again? Also, he mentioned that he was able to hold out much longer during the hookup as compared to us being in a relationship. But he also said that the sex was intense.

I seriously regretted letting him get to me. He also mentioned that when I was away, he masturbates while thinking of me. Does this mean something Chris? As a guy, I think an ideal women who keeps me guessing and is even a bit titillating has a lot of value in my mind. Looking and thinking about opening the package is sooooo much fun. I have been reading your posts almost religiously.. I should probably focus on other things lol and this post is pretty simular to my situation.

I was doing pretty good and though have gone through an emotional Rollercoaster I have been trying to improve myself. We have dated for 4 years but it was a relationship started in high school and we never really set a goal or chance to grow with this relationship. I was afraid to commit because of my insecurities with him. He was ignoring me that week and I panicked and called him over and over. But ultimately he ended it for different reasons. Fast forward and he comes to my door with my stuff in hand I chose the date and put him on my time He is resistant to chatting at first I invite him in just to catch up.

Everything was going great but I think I kept him around too long but he also was trying to stall to stay around me? When he was going to leave we hugged he kept looking at me like he wanted one so I did and I guess that was a mistake. Taking a mini NC to recollect myself. I know I sound silly, but how will I be able to win him back like this?

Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Getting Over Your Ex. The No Contact Rule. Play podcast episode Playing. Do Exes Always Come Back? Jasmine July 29, at Hi, My ex and I have been texting and we actually had a fun date tonight. Chris Seiter July 29, at 3: Probably best to talk to him about how it makes you feel.

Nayara Pereira de Oliveira September 1, at 5: