At no point do you care if Tuck or FDR get the girl, simply because either guy is just as shallowly drawn. Ditto for the tired banter between Tuck and FDR, scripted without the wit nor the punch of Kinberg's 'Smith' or 'Sherlock Holmes'- in fact, the most memorable line is delivered by a fellow agent who tries politely to tell Tuck the night after FDR beds Lauren that the latter had 'entered the premises'. Fortunately, there is genuine bromantic chemistry between the two actors Pine and Hardy, both of whom do their best with the trite material that doesn't do justice to their heretofore-unknown sharp comedic timing.

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Against their natural bromance, Reese Witherspoon ends up regrettably nondescript, giving as little as the script demands of her. That the romance between Lauren and Tuck or FDR doesn't ring true is not entirely the actress' fault however- for some inexplicable reason, the script has them falling in love over a private trapeze session at an amusement park and a private showcase of Gustav Klimt masterpieces at some warehouse. Granted that a suspension of belief is de rigueur for most movies, but the leap of logic this McG live-action cartoon demands is just too absurd.

And don't get us started about the poorly conceived action sequences that are so badly choreographed it's no wonder they are over before you know it. We're not just talking about over-the-top, but absolutely head- scratching nonsense that turns the pair of CIA agents into superheroes who pretty much emerge unscathed- except for some cuts- from every supposed life-endangering situation. Even with the paucity of such sequences we count only three in total , McG can't even get the climax right- and a high-speed chase that ends on a dead-end freeway ramp is so laughably shot it goes in the running for the worst action sequence of the year.

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Whether as action or as comedy, this mishmash of a buddy picture, spy thriller and rom-com fails in every regard. We can accept a movie that doesn't take itself seriously, but one that disregards every ounce of logic ultimately causes its audience to pay little attention to it as well. Like we said, it's really another one of McG's live-action cartoons- how else really can two spies use the full resources of the CIA to spy on a personal subject without anyone raising any alarm- and it is as juvenile as its titular claim that two guys fighting over one girl could really mean war.

Start your free trial. Find showtimes, watch trailers, browse photos, track your Watchlist and rate your favorite movies and TV shows on your phone or tablet! Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. Full Cast and Crew. A pair of C. STARmeter Top 10 of Share this Rating Title: This Means War 6.

Use the HTML below. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. Learn more More Like This. Identical twin gangsters Ronald and Reginald Kray terrorize London during the s. Edit Cast Cast overview, first billed only: Trish John Paul Ruttan Nana Foster George Touliatos Grandpa Foster Clint Carleton According to Entertainment Weekly , "the initial script dates back [ Going back even further, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock also declined the part. Principal photography took place in Vancouver from September 13 to December 1, This Means War was previously scheduled for wide release on February 14, but 20th Century Fox postponed its opening to February 17, , in order "to avoid a head-on confrontation with" Screen Gems ' The Vow , which had been "expected to dominate" the box office on Valentine's Day.

Spirit of Vengeance , and Journey 2: Critics were not amused by the film. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone found this "action-spiked romcom [ I could say more, but do I really need to?

This film contains examples of:

Lou Lumenick of the New York Post ridiculed the film for being "spectacularly awful" and "riddled with continuity errors," suggesting that it "has a script whose sensible parts would fit on a napkin with enough room left over for the Gettysburg Address. Claudia Puig of USA Today opined that "silly action sequences grow tedious and rarely blend with the wannabe madcap comedy" and concluded that McG "can't seem to decide whether he's making a spy action flick with romance interspersed or a rom-com peppered with action.

Lisa Schwarzbaum of Entertainment Weekly "enjoyed everything that's all over the place about the finished product" and stated that while it "may have been hammered together by brute Hollywood force, [ It's game to throw in anything that'll keep the motor running.


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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This Means War Theatrical release poster. Overbrook Entertainment [1] Robert Simonds Productions [1].

Retrieved December 28, Retrieved December 30, Retrieved February 19, Retrieved February 21, Retrieved December 27, Retrieved September 4, Romance-free rom-com doesn't give Reese a chance! Spies employ tricks of the trade in absurdly fun romcom 'This Means War ' ". Films directed by McG.

Meanwhile Tom, who is one barstool over, is caught in a different struggle. Tom does not perceive Rachel as hawk-like or aggressive; he came from a family of women who had features somewhat like Rachel's, and to him her face represents not only beauty, but comfort, femininity and warmth. Tom is half in love already. He is not a lawyer and is not directly threatened by any status Rachel may have in that area.

This Means War! (Film) - TV Tropes

Tom's problem is that he can't seem to get into the conversation because Randy is the one sitting next to Rachel and they're talking shop , and is therefore unable to tell how he and Rachel might get along, or even how she might react to him. Tom is divorced, has been lonely and horny for ages, and he has checked Rachel's hand and found no ring. Tom has one other problem. Don't laugh at him, girls, or think he's a lout: Tom is a breast man. This does not mean that Tom thinks he deserves more goodies than the next guy -- that he wants a luxury that he could do without. Rather, Tom's problem is that his sexual confidence is tied to the large female bosom: I said he didn't choose to be this way.

Tom didn't sit down with a notepad at age thirteen and write, "I now decide that I will find the following features of the female anatomy unbearably exciting.

Like a man who hears western swing music for the first time and knows he has found his Holy Grail. So what did determine the matter? It could be cultural: The problem with that theory is we have too many different men liking too many different body types: It could be genetic: Or perhaps it was early childhood experience, or lack thereof. Maybe he imprinted on the first woman he fell in love with--and maybe that was his art teacher in Grade Four. At any rate, ever since he noticed how lovely Rachel is, Tom has been trying to lean around his stocky friend Randy and get a gander at Rachel's chest.

But Randy is always in the way, and unfortunately Rachel is wearing a business suit and the jacket pretty much hides her shape. Just as the men's table is announced, two things happen. Rachel says to Randy, "The only place that really matters to me is our family cottage on the lake," and Rachel twists toward them on her stool, her jacket falls open, and Tom has his first unobstructed view of the generous curve of her chest in a cream blouse.

Tom is now completely smitten, because his own sacred place happens to be a cottage on a lake, and he is absolutely clear that Rachel, as a physical specimen, is his wet dream. Tom now has achieved what we will call a "sighting. He knows right now, with the same certainty that he knows his own address, that he could be happy with this woman. Behind his exterior calm he is hyperventilating, because this never happens. He sees women whom he finds attractive, sometimes, but they are not alone.

And they are usually married. Mostly he sees them across a room or across the street. And he never gets to hear them talk about their lives, never gets even a hint as to whether he might be compatible with them in a personal sense. On this occasion in the restaurant, all these sad rules have found an exception. This woman is classy, she is smart and she cares about lakes. And in Tom's eyes, she is a goddess. Randy gets up to go to their table. He says goodbye to Rachel, who gives him a warm smile. Tom suspects that Rachel is attracted to Randy. Tom has no sense at all of Rachel even noticing him.

He smiles at her but his smile comes out anxious and stiff, because for him there is too much at stake and he has no cards to play. Randy says, "Let's go, bud," a little sarcastically--and Tom realizes he is just standing there in a haze, gazing at Rachel.

Randy tugs him away and says to Rachel, "This guy needs to eat. Tom flushes and follows Randy into the restaurant area, and they order. Randy says dismissively, "She was nice, but kind of butch-looking. A little hefty, too. A few minutes later, they see Rachel sit down in a nearby booth with a very good-looking, well-dressed man, who seems to be locked in constant hilarity with her.

Tom abandons a half-formed plan of somehow talking to her before heading back to work. A typical session in the endless male search: Let's inventory a few useful points:. Facial looks are totally subjective: Same for body shapes and sizes. Total accidents of seating and attitude can stop major connections from being made. Men very rarely have positive "sightings," and usually are not in a position to act even on those. Men's relentless scrutiny of women, the thing that drives feminists crazy, is just as much a screening out of that which is intimidating as it is a judging of whether someone is up to par.

If truth be known, Randy's dismissal of Rachel had little to do with her being not pretty or too heavy. The truth was, he found her intimidating as a lawyer and as a woman.

How Men Choose Women

The most confident, forward man in the group is not always the most interested one. He may be confident because he isn't interested, and therefore has nothing to lose. The one who can't get a word out may be the one who is stricken with attraction. Above all, remember this. Qualities of character are often in play from the beginning. Men may seem to be judging solely on appearance--but in fact they see in appearance many other levels of humanity. In Rachel's face, Tom saw warmth, familial comfort, kindness, intelligence. In her words he heard a love for a type of sacred place that he too values.

Even her body's sexual appeal to him holds other levels of connection--in her full figure he sees a reassuring quality, and a sensual opulence, that speaks to his emotional needs. Randy saw qualities of mind that scared him off. Both men were reacting to a whole person, through her appearance. Here we encounter an amazing disparity -- a gap like the Grand Canyon. Her experience was so unlike that of the men as to seem like a cruel cosmic joke.

Rachel did not have "finding a man" on her agenda. She wanted to meet her friend Pete and have lunch, and she was preoccupied with a trial she is in the middle of. Pete works at the same firm she does, and they hang out together a lot, but there is no chemistry between them and that is why they have the relaxed, hilarious rapport that Tom noticed later.

Rachel broke up with a long-term lover six months ago when she discovered he was cheating on her. Although she is lonely and occasionally makes a slight effort to meet new people, she is skeptical of all men. And anyway, she does not think of a bar as a place where she could ever meet a man. She was perfectly happy to talk to Randy, but did not even ask herself whether he was relationship material--he was just a fellow lawyer.

Tom she hardly noticed. She did observe that he had a nice face, but it never occurred to her for a moment that he was interested in her, and he seemed sort of uptight and sad compared to his friend. Rachel's attitude to her body is even more tragically counterproductive. Rachel has regretted since about age sixteen that she is not skinnier. She thinks of herself as full-figured, because although she has a model's legs, she has rounded hips and a full bosom.

Actually, she thinks she's fat. If she could only lose thirty pounds, she might be acceptable in her own eyes.


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She has an older sister who still weighs pounds and this torments her daily. Somewhere inside her, a voice still says, "You're beautiful," but lately she has trouble hearing it. The truth is, you have a classic hourglass figure, and plenty of men would find you almost overwhelmingly sexy if you would let them--and if they could escape the caustic stereotypes of their peer group.