The question is what led to the separation? It could be death of a beloved partner or unexpected occurrence like cheating. You can still overcome a separation caused by cheating. But it can take longer time to move on if the death of a beloved partner is the cause of the separation. In fact, it takes extra ordinary pressure for a new relationship to start for this kind of people. And it also depends on the individual. Some people don't get over issues very fast, it takes ages. While for some, before the twinkling of an eye they are on the next thing.

Some also consider what people will say before getting into another relationship. And no one, i repeat, no one nor any manual can tell you when you can get into a new relationship because it is if you are in the situation you can decide that. When it is right, no one will tell you, you will have even fallen before you realise you are in love again and you will be like it is so sudden, i don't even know how i fell. What people can just do is to persuade you when it is taking longer than expected, and it is because they are not in your shoes.

To be realistic, that shoe may not even size many of them, if they were in your situation, their case might even be worse, but just that it should be noted they did their best to console you to the next level. All i know is that you will definitely fall in love again, the time, i can't tell. Do we still need to answer this?

How Long Should You Wait After Ending A Relationship To Date Someone Else? - Romance - Nairaland

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo queen of nairaland. Next min after d breakup Are you sure you weren't cheating on your old bae before the divorce, and the decamp within 48hours? She is not trusting my words now. She has unfriend me from fb. I have reached her out after every 5 or 7 days on and off.

I am in miserable situation. Can i still have a chance to rekindle with her? What duration of no contact is required in this case? Will she ever miss me? It would be good to probably go into no contact for the time being in order to at least give him some space to deal with his issues while you deal with yours. It's been a month since I ended a three months long relationship with this guy.

It happened because, when I confessed my feelings for him and asked about being exclusive, he told me he had feelings for me too, but he wasn't prepared for an exclusive relationship at the moment, and that if there was anything bothering me, we could try to talk about it and work things out. At first, I considered continuing the relationship, but then I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be with anybody else but him, and that I was trying to adapt to him, not because I thought it would be best for me, but to keep him by my side.

So that's why I ended things. Now, I'm having second thoughts. I'm thinking that maybe I was too inflexible, too strict, because I didn't accept polygamy. He'd suggested to talk about what bothered me and figure it out together, and I'd, on the other hand, "gave up". That's how I feel about breaking up with him. I've been avoiding contact with him, unfollowed him on Instagram, deleted our Whatsapp conversations and photos of him on my phone. I've been focusing on myself, reading a lot, writing about my feelings, going out with friends.

But I still miss him and want him back. He still orbits on my Instagram, watches all of my stories, likes some photos I'd contacted him two times only, just to send memes, and he'd responded right away, tried to keep the conversation going I want to know if he misses me and if he feels the same. I don't know if I should say hi, ask him out, try to reconnect with him and work things out together, or if I'm illuding myself and should move on because of our incompatibility. It doesn't sound like you were incompatible as a couple, but simply just looking for different things at this point.

Never forget to respect and love yourself, as well as your own moral values. If polygamy isn't something you're comfortable with, don't try to change your way of thinking just to fit his because it isn't something permanent. Based on what you're saying, it does sound like he misses you and shares certain feelings for you. To what extent is yet to be determined, but if you genuinely miss him, perhaps consider reaching out properly to reconnect. My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 3 years and had lived together for over two. Everything was going really well and we were planning trips and getting along well, or so I thought.

Then he broke up with me. He told me he needed space and time to focus on school, work, and family. He still loves me. Do I follow the plan still? This depends entirely on you and what you're able to take emotionally. Waiting can be a painful thing to go through and is honestly much harder than simply moving on.

I would recommend moving on first, but if the opportunity should present itself in the future and you still have strong feelings for him, then you could consider giving it a second shot. My girlfriend broke up with me 4 days ago now and I started doing no contact immediatley after the breakup. I just keep feeling like when the no contact is over and I finally text her again, she will be confused as to why i just ignored her for a month.

I really want her back. Sorry if this is too long. I entered the no contact time a few days ago and intent on going 30 days. But when I looked at the calendar I realized my ex's birthday is 20 days in. Would wishing her happy birthday hurt things? Honestly, it wouldn't make much of a difference whether you wish her or not since you've both broken up. I would personally not recommend wishing her, but if you genuinely feel the need to, keep it short and simple, avoid getting emotional in the process, and simply carry on with no contact after sending her a text. My Ex and I have ended things after 5 years of being together.

Pur relationship has not always been great but it has been good enough for me that we been together for 5 years. I started noticing a change in him. He stopped taking an interest, stopped wanting to do one on one things with me and took more of a interest in his friends in stead. So I ended things thinking it would open his eyes and shed some light onto him, we built a life together a house we have 2 dogs.

He didnt change instead he stayed away and took off more in the opposite direction. But He still tells me he loves me and space will give us perspective. I did make the mistake like in the article of begging and telling him how I wanted to work things out and try, even though I have been trying for what seems to be a long time.

He hasnt shown any effort He told me no. He said not to make any rash decisions I feel like hes leading me on. Or keeping me at arms length to see if I'm always gonna be there. I love him more than anything but he hasnt been present It's been super hard, and it's like hes not accepting it. He keeps texting me things like I miss you and that he wants us to be together but he doesnt think things will change.

Or he says things like I love you, we just need to be in love and time will tell He also once said. I'm worried hes gonna take that as I have moved on and hes going to want to move out and move on I'm trying not to go crazy but it's so hard. Be honest with your feelings and tell him about it, especially how you've been struggling lately because you don't see it going anywhere and 'just being in love and seeing where it takes us' without any actual actions is hard to swallow.

About 8 months ago she had broken up with me and moved away with her parents only to end up back with me a couple months later. We recently made a big move out of state to start fresh with a clean slate. The first year of our relationship had its ups and downs, she cheated a few times but we always got through it and moved forward. She decided enough was enough and decided to leave me and move in with a coworker.

As of yesterday she came and picked up all her belongings and went on her way. After putting everything she brought up with her in the vehicle she said thank you and went on her way. I do in fact want her back , as I did the first time. I feel like an idiot for being the way I was and miss her terribly. Her coworker has messaged since telling me to give her time, give her space so we can put ourselves back together. If the relationship was a meaningful one, yes you should give her a bit of space to cool off from whatever pent up negative emotions she feels before trying to reach out.

In the meantime, you should also go ahead with picking yourself up and working on the emotional aspect of things to learn how to keep them in check and not let yourself develop toxic habits while in a relationship. Reason for it is because she misunderstood what I wanted out of a situation that occurred a couple days before, which was to see me more as a priority when communicating with me on things we plan. Nothing major I believe, but I have a terrible way of trying to speak my mind and she felt like I was unhappy being with her so she felt like I deserve someone better to give me more, when I didn't want more from someone else.

I wanted her to understand how much I loved her and just seek more effort from her. Well she wanted her space and Thursday morning I texted her a long message speaking my peace about how she misunderstood what I was telling her. Since then, I have not been in contact with her, although we are still friends on social media. I feel if she really wanted to move on, wouldn't she deleted me or blocked me from all that? She did that to her exes, which I think played a role in her decision because she was always the one who got played a fool by them, they disrespected her, cheated on her, been unfaithful and straight unloyal.

I have always been the one guy she could depend her life on, I never cheated on her, never gave her reasons to doubt our relationship. We been together for over a year and a half. Anything she needed, I was there for her all the way. Always tried to keep her happy, always gave her the space when she wasnt in the mood to talk. It just bothers me that she wanna break up over one little issue.

I love her still and think about her every single day. I wanna just text her I miss her but I feel the more I try to stay in contact will do no good so I been focusing on myself since that day. How long u think should I wait to tell her I still miss her? Or should wait til she texts me? There's a likelihood that her actions of breaking up and shutting you out were caused by past baggage from previous relationships that she has not dealt with.

You should go into NC for the time being and even when you contact her again, it shouldn't begin with you missing her since that shows signs of desperation and weakness in which she may not fully respect you. I broke up with my gf last april Reason is i got confused if my feelengs were still romantic or not.

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But we've been living together up until May When the move out was nearing. I asked if she could take me back. Saying that I was late and all. She had a deadline that I didnt know of. While she was waiting for me, she had a coworker that always messaged her everyday. But now they dont. She got interested in the guy while waiting for me. Now Im afraid that there is a posibility that the coworker also likes her back.

It started when their officemates started teasing them since they were "single". When we moved out. I always saw her, even if we were technically not a couple while living together. It was stupid and selfish of me. I acted needy for the past two months and now I decided to lessen my contact with her. She's been cold towards me through chats but when we're together, things seemed natural. She always pushes me away. Saying that we have no chance, shes not coming back and all. But I really believe that theres still a chance.

That she's just more on welcoming the giddy feeling with her coworkwr since its a positive feeling. Im scared of doing no contact at well Im afraid of losing her. Currently, if you continue to contact her and attempt to get her to take you back, you're most probably going to succeed in only pushing her further away since her feelings towards you are still relatively negative. It'll be better to go into NC and give it some breathing room, even if she ends up dating the other person in the meantime because that's the only way you generate enough distance for her to let go of her negative emotions towards you.

Before breaking up my ex had already been using the no contact rule for a month and now that we broke up I've been missing her so much. I guess it's working that she wants the freedom of herself. It was a long story and we broke up on good terms however it just makes me so sad. I would like to know how and what should I do facing an already implemented no contact rule? Probably the best thing you can do right now is to go into no contact yourself, and focus on improving aspects of your life that may have required changes. At least this keeps you occupied and distracted as well, while letting time pass for both parties to be able to start on a fresh page when the time comes.

My ex girlfriend just broke up with me. Been together for 15 months. I just sent her roses and she said this will be the last thing she will receive from me and we should stop seeing each other as her feeling has faded. I did not put attention to her for the past months because my mom was ill, she left us 3 months ago. She told me that her feeling started to fade since 5 months ago and she decided to tell me now that she got no more feeling. Given how she feels and considering the time that she started losing feelings for you, there is a possibility that she has genuinely moved on, and you might want to consider doing the same and not wasting your time and emotions any further because she doesn't seem interested in getting back or even giving things another shot.

Hi, my 2 months ex bf and I were getting a long well until some problems began to come up between us the second month, but we still could survive. He also made sure to call me and stay always in touch, this is until he called me sometime and i asked him for a more serious commitment between us, he disappeared, went on a previously planned trip for 3 weeks without even calling me saying goodbye. If the relationship had lasted for 2 months before the breakup and him disappearing on his trip, you might want to consider the fact that effort you put in to try and win him back may be a waste of time because there's a possibility that he has moved on since the breakup.

In short relationships, it is easier for one party to distance themselves and move on since there hasn't been enough time to become fully invested into it. Hello, I am 27 and my ex is also 27 we broke up about 3 weeks ago. Would that be the right thing to do? He could be a bit prideful and not be the one to come look for me , most of my friends tell me to just move on and forget him and that if he did care or loved me he would be the one coming after me. If you felt unsatisfied with the way he was treating you then, which led to the relationship ending, by you taking the first step to reach out to him, don't you think that the situation would remain the same even if you succeeded in getting him back and he'd still take you for granted after?

Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. It's really subjective to each relationship, and would depend on how the relationship ended and how things were handled after. My girlfriend and I got into an argument and broke up. I was ok for about week and then I got drunk and acted like an idiot. All the things you aren't supposed to do I did to try and get back with her. Her last text to me was that even though we aren't together we should still care for each other. Then she proceeded to give me caring advice.

I've never replied to that and have been in no contact for a week. I also found out she went on dating sites just two weeks after we broke up. To be honest I'm not even sure if I want to contact her even after no contact, but I do want to get her back. Spend this time figuring things out, and although older women may be more understanding, they are usually also more decisive and certain of their actions, and less likely to waste time contemplating or moping around.

This was my first relationship and I'm My ex broke up with me a month ago and since I had read up on non neediness before, I was able to instinctually know that calling them and asking to get back together wasn't a good idea, but it was still devastating ofcourse. She's naturally really shy and had issues with her self esteem and I wasn't supportive of her enough and would joke around by roasting her since she would be really quiet when she was around me and I wanted to get her attention.

And when I roasted her, it would sometimes be about her insecurities and she would feel upset about it but not say anything. Now looking back, I know that the reason I was like this was because of my fear of being needy. When we texted, I always felt the need to joke and roast her instead of treating her with support and compassion. But all of this built up and one day she asked to go on a break. When I confronted her about it a few days later she sent me a break up text.

It's been a month or so and we've talked a few times during class and through text. Her mom even texted me to check up on me and give me advice. She wanted me to treat her like a friend and be compassionate and wait for her to commit saying that she's not ready for a relationship yet. She really does want to be friends and said that she cared about me when we broke up.

And I know about no contact and did that for awhile but we would see each other during class. The last day of school was the first time that we were having fun together, we talked and played a card game while making fun of each other, but after that we still don't text or hang out. I know that I should spend more time to work on myself, which I have, but some part of the day my mind would always go back to thinking about her. Yesturday I decided to break no contact cause I felt like I was better and asked her if she wanted to hang out while being very understanding in my delivery, but she had something else that day and the conversation ended there.

Honestly, I just want to know what you're perspective is and what you think is the best approach because I understand that this is still my situation that I want to overcome. Since you've attempted to break no contact and it did not turn out entirely well considering that trying to meet up wasn't successful , I would suggest waiting for another week or two before contacting her again directly if you want to ask her out. However, if you do see her around in school still, you could always maintain a friendly relationship and try to work your way from there in a casual and progressive manner.

Just about to move in together into a house I renovated which took far, far too long, drained me completely and brought out my worst, undecisive, sometimes helpless, social-life-abandoning and in the end even almost sexless self , my long time girlfriend told me she didn't love me any more, even though she wants to. Miiiight be loss of attraction. That was around christmas. Since then, we had contact and met quite some times, but did not get anwhere.

How Soon Is Too Soon to Sleep with Someone? - Dating Advice for Women

She often did not reply to my texts for days and appeared like a different person, thinks about maybe being burnt out I did a lot of research on relationships and what went wrong with ours. Monday last week we had quite a lovely picnic where I was to tell her about my findings which we did not get to discuss completely, making me eager to meet again.

Some unanswered texts later quite the habit now - a contact a week, then radio silence, even with kind oneliners asking about her sore throat or her injured horses she declined an invitation. Mondays, I asked her to go to spring vacation with me to relax because of her lack of energy. No answer until just now: She had a very bad week, thinks again she may be burnt out. She is going to vacation with a male friend back from university she used to mention back then. Third text half an hour later: Her horse is injured. Obviously, I should have looked for this site earlier on, I surely did act needy and insecure from time to time, even though I always tried to keep my texts light and witty.

I tried to keep the going crazy to myself. But about that text: Before, I was about to start that No Contact phase, but now I wonder, having replied instantly until now and being eager for her to know she can always count on me, if it wouldn't be smarter to text her back tomorrow or sunday and then start the No Contact phase, to at least send her off with solely good thoughts and things to say about me on that trip.

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Especially when she's not feeling well right now, I feel I should be there for her and make her feel better. That ain't the addiction talking, is it? The 'urge' to be there for the person you care about will often come across as being necessary in your point of view, but to be honest, that will only add to your image of being needy or desperate to your ex, especially if she has begun to distance herself which usually means she isn't as receptive to your 'thoughtful' actions.

I would suggest beginning no contact but if you're concerned about stopping all contact so suddenly, perhaps since she has said that she was unwell, you could tell her to take good care of herself and enjoy the upcoming trip. Leave it at that, and go onto no contact after. Hello, me and my ex dated for 3 years, we broke up because he was so busy and he believed we would be happier seperated because at the point, I would be angry with him almost all the time for not giving me the attention I wanted. When we broke up, I regretted the way I acted right away and would text him and call him all the time.

I was acting needy and desperate and he would listen and say he loved me still but that I was also pushing him away. My insecurities got the best of me and I feel awful for doing that to him, in the end, we realized it was toxic and nothing good was coming from it.. If they are still dating at this point, even if you felt that there were ways to work things out, he may not be as interested at this point to consider it. You definitely still have a slight chance to win him back, but I would suggest moving on for now and working on yourself in the meantime.

If the opportunity ever presents itself again and you're still interested, then you could consider contacting him again. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were in a long distance relationship for 1yr 5months. I was the one doing all the travelling to him because he has a legal issue going on. I visited him in August with my son and spend 2 weeks with him. Everything thing was fine When I was on my vacation with him.

When I try asking why is alll of this happening, he said the distance is getting to him, and he feels like talking to someone closer. I met his mom, brother n sister and he met my mom and aunt. I asked myself why would he go all the way for me to meet his family and dump me this way.

I really love this guy. My ex bf Mickey and I had been dating for about 13 years and a half including engaged for 2 yrs. We were childhood best friends and sweethearts. We shared a lot of nice and unforgettable memories together, we went trips, we were everything when we had each other He loves me so much too, he valued me like a queen.

But we always fought for my jealous type. But about one year ago he started to date other girls behind my back and we fought a lot when I found out. He gave me a reason that So he couldn't make it anymore and we broke up. He then dates a girl only one month later after our break up.

They stick together and post photos of them together on facebook always, it hurts me I dunno it's rebound or not but they r still together, dating and going trips together and he brings her to his home to meet with his parents. He shoved me away. So I stopped all the contacts coz he asked me to.

I was mentally broken down for about a year after the break up. I wasn't ready to move on and find another guy. I was concerntrating on my work. But I was about to flirt with my senior manager guy who is older than me and he's married already. His name is Peter, He always appraised for my beauty and intelligence. But when my parents found out, they reprimanded me badly for flirting with a married guy.

I avoid him and then met a guy named Nick who has a gf already, he's 33 and I m He likes me but he doesn't dare to start bcoz he's only Sales Executive and he thinks himslef as he's much lower than me. Coz I graduated from famous UK university and he's just graduted from like community college But when I told him that I liked him And he said he's not sure about his current relationship too. And now we r like that. I m not sure i like Nick actually, or I want him as a rebound. He also cannot trust me either he may think. He wants to wait and see I want to replace him with my ex Mickey.

Coz I still have strong feelings for my Ex Mickey so strongly. What should I do?. I always want my Mickey back.. I cry every night till now. I think you should only figure out first what it is you want, whether it is to try and move on, or to continue wanting your ex back. If the decision is to try and move on, you could slowly explore things with this new person provided he intends to break up with his girlfriend soon , and decide again from there based on your emotions.

Take things slow and avoid rushing your emotions if they are not ready. So my girlfriend and I have dated for 9 months before we broke up. We broke up for almost a month now but I was so needy and disparate that i was trying to contact and seeing her everyday. The reasons why we broke up were I did not give her enough space, I was so selfish, I shouted at her and we have arguments in front of others a lot. Because I Love her so much that i could not show her how strong I am in front of her.

I just texted her again this Wednesday which I actually I do not suppose to do so. So should my NC start over again from today. Right now I am getting better and changing my habit. I am changing myself and do not even touch an alcohol again because of her. I am willing to change for her and I am doing it everyday. I started to enjoy myself like she does with her friends right now. But actually I still want her back but I don't do the needy thing anymore. I just give her some more space before i am ready to meet up with her.

What should i do next? Please give me some advices. You don't have to restart your NC process, but instead just take what happened as a minor setback. It's good that you've progressed to not being so needy which is essential in your chances because you're less likely to make mistakes or come across as desperate. Hello, my ex boyfriend recently dumped me after being together for 3 years. We had been having some problems with communicating but nothing big, it came out of nowhere.

We were both very emotional, and both of us sobbed before I asked him to leave. He told me he wanted me to be okay and that I needed to move on could he really hav meant this? He and my mom are very close so after the breakup he met with her and apparently had been carrying some anger and resentment from a year ago. In the relationship we both became codependent, selfish, and at times we could be disrespectful to one another.

It could be that he may have initially lost the passion towards you, but subsequent realizations of the reality of the breakup started to confuse him instead. I suggest giving him some space for now, and perhaps consider No Contact in the mean time to at least allow both parties to heal and work on yourselves, while figuring things out. If his feelings for you a sincere, he may decide that he still wants the relationship at the end of the day but if not, you could always consider trying to win him back.

Hi, so I desperately need some help. So I dated my ex boyfriend for two years now. We had an amazing first year and while he took some time to take a leave of absence at home from college we started to fight. I became really controlling to him and would be jealous when he was out with friends and stuff.

He went back to a school this second semester and we were okay. Fought a lot though abt little things I picked on. We also had a lot of amazing memories we shared by going to unique places together. He was the first person to show me what love actually means. I had recently not been able to visit him in our long distance relationship due to car accidents and lacrosse commitments.

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This caused a lot more stress and best friends leaving my life cake with even more drama. But I took this out on him. First of all on March 17th my friends convinced me of making a fake account on an app to text him a random number pretending it was a girl. So I stupidly did and he offered her his Snapchat. Drunk me at the time broke up that night and sent mean texts the next day.

Anyway I arrived at his house and talked with his mom awaiting him to come home. You have a lot of proving to do if we were to get back together. So I told him ok and we talked a little more and I left. Soon after I wished him a happy Easter and he wished me a happy Easter back small text and I texted a few days later saying hope all is well I went to our favorite place today and e said hope all is well with you too. Then I followed the next day with another text no response and another no response and I sent letters to his house at school and got nothing.

I sent miss you texts and love you texts and got nothing. I know he will be coming home as well.

How Long Should You Wait After Ending A Relationship To Date Someone Else? - Romance - Nigeria

My questions are do you think he is just waiting for me to come home to be able to reconnect with me. Why would he respond to those other texts then just cold turkey me? I pray and hope each night he will come around. Which has helped a lot too. Am I doing the right things? What more can I do? What do you think? To be honest, it sounds like he needs more time to deal with whatever has happened, and there may even be a possibility he has given up on the relationship already. His response to you on Easter was probably a courtesy reply but had no intentions of continuing the conversation further which was why he stopped replying the next day.

If you really want to win him back, you're probably going to have to give him more time before trying again to reach out to him but if he still does not respond positively then, it would be a better idea to move on. I've been dating a guy for about a year. We share many things in common, including values and hometown, we spent time with each other's kids and families and had fun in the time we were together.

We genuinely care about each other, never played games. But it was always off and on, almost from the start. He had come from almost back-to-back horrible relationships when we met, including an 8-year marriage in which his ex-wife cheated and got pregnant lost the baby. It's been 4 yrs and she is still taking him to court for money. Right before he met me, he was 3 months out of a 1. So he has some baggage. When we were dating, it would go really well, we'd get closer -- but then he'd suddenly pull away and grow cold and not want to see me.

We didn't fight or anything. He did this over and over He was not dating other women. I know he truly cares for me, likely even loves me, but he could never tell me how he felt about me. I'm patient, caring and easy going, but I grew tired of the roller coaster and started asking questions. He broke up with me, told me he couldn't give me what I wanted and needed and I should date other men. We didn't speak for 3 weeks, and then he texted me and told me he missed me. Said he was ok and wouldn't run away again.

Three weeks later, he was doing the hot and cold thing again! It went on like that for months. Recently, I got him to tell me that he thought he was getting better but he feels that he just can't handle a relationship right now, can't handle the obligations. He has a demanding job he travels 3 or 4 weeks out of each month, so he's only home on Sat and Sun and a 9 yr old son, whom I get along well with.

I never demanded anything of him but he said because of those priorities, he can't focus on a personal life. He said he feels disconnected from his feelings and just isn't ready for a relationship. But he'd like to stay friends because I'm a great person. He made a point to say we cannot see each other because something would happen physically to pull us back into the vicious circle we've been in because he can't commit to me. He said he feels bad for keeping me from dating other men. I told him I wanted to be with him. He kept saying he needs to be alone for a while to fix himself but he doesn't know how long it will take.

I haven't seen him in two months and he unfriended me on FB. BUT, we still talk -- he initiates it almost all the time. I know he still cares a lot for me and doesn't want to let go. I don't either, but his hot and cold behavior makes me crazy. So does talking to him when I can't see him. Should I stop talking to him completely until he figures things out or decides to commit? This is breaking my heart. I love him, he's a great guy, and he isn't playing games or cheating. But I don't know when or if things will ever change and he'll be capable of being in a relationship.

We are both 40 yrs old. To be very frank, it sounds like he actually needs therapy rather than space. Many people fail to realize the emotional and mental toll that these kinds of toxic relationships has on a person. It does not sound like his behavior is something that he can control, but instead does it instinctively as someone who has trust issues and emotional baggage.

My ex girlfriend and I were together for 1 year and 3 months. She got out of a bad relationship that barely was and got with me. We were always going to theme parks, and fun places all the time! She would tell me, only me, and me forever. We both had the best relationships of our lives, though she's 21 and I'm in my 30's. I basically introduced her to new friends and a mutual friend started hanging out and he caught feelings and told her that he liked her after months of once a week hanging out with us He told her one drunken night after being called out for being chummy with her that he had feelings and he wanted to kiss her.

She declined and came to me after. She cried and said she was confused and needed space.

I gave her a couple of days, we were both sick from it, she told me how much she loved me but at the same time she was dealing with her father's cancer and chemo treatments. Her mother constantly telling her that she's going to lose her dad, that she needs to be single and be there for him. She told me she had to talk it out with our friend and see. How she didn't want any of this and how she couldn't come back because she was affected by it.

She needed to work on herself and get a job, and a license. I let a few days go by she texted me "hope your having a good easter," and I told her it was okay and I was going to bring her things to her. She was calm and said she barely ate, but "it gets easier". I told her to message me and she insisted "No, you message me. I kept it light but she didn't continue the convo after 5 texts back and forth. So I met her one last time with the last of her things and her broken phone I fixed. I said,"I accept the break up, she replied "That's cool", and I want her to be happy.

She said she is full time nurse for her father I told her I realized what I needed to fix about myself, and that I don't want to pester her she replied with "You're not pestering me. After that It's been 11 days of NC, and she hasn't tried to contact me. Do I keep NC and wait for her to contact me?

Or do I contact her soon? She has anxiety issues, she doesn't like conflict and sometimes we would get into big arguments over if I get silent after minutes of arguing a moot point. You could complete NC and try to contact her after, because it doesn't seem like she will contact you first given the issues she is facing right now. Even if the breakup affects her, she might be suppressing those feelings in order to function and take care of her dad as well as to avoid anxiety. Hi, My ex and I broke up 4 weeks ago, we had been together 2.

The last 6 months have been very hard for us with issues he had from before our relationship, to put it briefly 2 lost court cases, work and money pressures got to him I feel and he became distant. I went above and beyond to help him with the running of his business for very little praise or thanks, he had no time to do things as he was always busy as he has massive bills to pay. Previous relationships broke up because of this, I feel I was very patient with him but this was the gripe of most of our arguments.

After a massive row when he lost the 2nd court case he told me he didn't want a relationship anymore. I was devastated, cried a whole week, didn't eat and I was a bit needy tbh. Because we broke up over the phone I went to see him a week after the break up, I was so upset and he seemed like he did not even care, was very cold and felt like I meant nothing to him. He said he had made up his mind, then after a long upsetting chat he then said lets see how it is in a month, leaving me completely confused!

I know he has a huge bill to pay by the end of the month and is he just pushing me away because he wants to concentrate on making money at the mo?! Since then he has not contacted me, I've been working on myself and feel better, been on a date but feel there's a massive piece missing, I didn't realise he meant that much to me! He still has not updated his relationship status, he has a few of my belongings he said he would post but he hasn't and I know he is checking my FB page everyday. Yes I want to get back together with him but really don't know how to play it. Your advice would be very helpful: He could have acted that way out of desperation and that a relationship was not a priority and maybe even a distraction at that point of time.

Wait it out a little longer and see if he contacts you by the end of the date he's supposed to pay the bill, and you can decide again if you would like to contact him or not. If you decide to, you could follow the guidelines in our other articles on what to do after no contact. Hi my ex and I met online and were together for 6 months. We adored each other and had such an amazing connection. I had some family stresses and I pulled away from him instead of opening up to him which made my behaviour look nasty and hurtful.

Contact stopped for 2 weeks. When we spoke again he said he had taken a job working away for a few months after he didnt think I wanted him around. We saw each other twice and it was easy and like it always was. He went out to work and after a few messages back and forth he said he needs time and space as it pulls on his heart strings and hurts. That was 7 weeks ago. I sent him an easter message and he replied but that's it. Should I give up?? Sometimes a fresh job at a different place signifies a fresh start as well.

If he does not actually show that he still cares for you or has any interest to talk to you, there might be a chance he has already moved on since. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. I couldn't take it anymore and I did it abruptly. He is an alcoholic and I am a codependent, together we created a rather unhealthy environment. I always blamed him but now understand how much I played a role in our issues. There was minimal contact regarding moving things out of the apartment but once it was all gone I was crushed. I am on day 16 of no contact.

I know I cannot hope for him to change his addiction, but I desperately want to talk to him. I was hoping he would reach out but I don't think he will. I don't know how he would react when I do, but how long should I wait? Perhaps give it a month before trying to reach out to him again, and see how he responds to you. Bear in mind however, that things may not have changed so soon, and it might be a good idea if you know any of his friends who may share the same concern as you to consider therapy, especially if his alcoholism gets in the way of his daily life.

Kevin Actually, me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost 14 years and a half. We loved each other so much. He was a very understanding boyfriend and that we had planned to marry on our 11th Anniversary. But Unfortunately, I was diagnosed that I have Addison disease. But he didn't give up and he sent me to the hospital and incurred all the medication fees. After that our wedding was cancelled. But when my family got financial problem, he supported me a lot.

But about one year ago, when I wanted to study the bachelor degree final year he supported me. He was so depressed. During my final year study, he went and visited to me just once. And when I came back we were discussing about the wedding again. But I could never give him pure or sincere understanding and I stated to argued with him a lot. Then, he requested to give him some space, but I wouldn't. So he started to drink a lot again and went to parties and dated with many girls and got one night stands for fun. When I found out that, I cursed him like hell.

But we had reconciled for a while, it was about weeks. Then, I started to afraid to lose him forever. Then, I started to show my desperation and pleaded him not to leave me. Then, seemed like he was annoyed a lot and then. He urged to break up. But shortly after that, about one weeks or one month, he got a new girlfriend.

He posted couple together with her and he brought her his home to meet with his parents. I went so crazy. I begged him and asked to come back to me which he denied and he was like he considers me just as a friend. So it has been 7 mnths that we broke up and it has been 6 mnths he dates with the new gal. What should I do? I am so scared that the new girl may become a serious thing, not a rebound anymore. I tried No contact rule, but it didn't work. In that time, I'm sure you've created many meaningful experiences with him and I don't think it would be possible for him to have simply thrown it all away like that and his new girlfriend might be a rebound.

However, because of the duration of the relationship, there's also a possibility that he feels liberated from it, especially if the last few months or years have not been exactly pleasant for him. In this case, you could try to still win him back but it won't be easy and will require a lot of time and patience. Thanks a lot Ryan. Will u give me a guidance how I can win him back. I can be patient and how long it takes, i would not care coz as long as that he will come back to me, I'll b fine. I love him so much. There is no specific time frame, but you'll at the very least have to wait until his relationship with the rebound is over before starting conversation with him again.

I would recommend that in this time, you focus on making positive changes to your life as well, so that you feel better, as well as give him more motivation to return when he sees the positive change in you. Or rebounds can last more than a year or what? Is there a chance I can get back with him as they travelled a lot and they stick together like inseparables.

It usually remains unclear how long a rebound can last but there would be signs to show that the relationship he's currently in is a rebound or not. You could refer to this article for more guidelines. Ohh thanks a lot Ryan It makes me clearer to understand and assume whether his new gal is rebound but as far as I know after reading it, she is a totally rebound. Dear Ryan thank u for u guidance becoz I've read it, I realized more that the gal he's currently dating might b rebound according to the symptoms. And how long shd I do the No Cotact Rule?

Hi my partner and I have been together for three years. We were due to get married next year. We have had many "ups and downs" and separations a lot down to hot headedness and some down to circumstances.

Why You Should Wait Before Getting Your Ex Back

Her mother has dementia - she feels guilty to put her in a home and also her dad leans on her massively for help. On top of this she has three very demanding daughters all no longer at home but still needs their bums wiped. She also has a 13 yr old living with her. Three weeks ago my partner had a big operation. I was getting up at night helping her with her medication, "fluffing" her pillows then going to work coming home cooking the tea and general housework. When she was having this operation - a boob job and under anaesthetic I went and bought her flowers.

I personally didn't think she needed it done- she's beautiful and I absolutely adore her - I was so upset how poorly she looked when the op had finished that night I slept in hospital chair before driving her home. Would also do this every month when her mum would come and stay with us which meant I stayed in the spare room. My partner accused me of being secretive with my phone - ridiculously - so I said there's my phone look whenever you want no problem.

She then said let's call it a day - I got some of my things and said we need a few days apart. I went out with friends for a well deserved break - she says she can't forgive me for sending pics enjoying myself and leaving her like that but I WAS told to go - I'd love to know everybody's thoughts? Many thanks for replies. In my opinion, you have done nothing wrong based on everything you've stated. It could be that there was a deeper reason for her unhappiness with you than she was letting on, which resulted in her attitude towards you.

Perhaps you might want to give it some space, and find a chance to talk to her when she's calmed down about why she's unhappy. Thanks for this page and the experiences shared on it has been very helpful. My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me 6 days ago. I actually thought he wasn't serious. That was on a Saturday. We had an argument and I stretched it a bit by not taking his calls or returning them because I thought that will make him listen to me.

Unfortunately, it pushed him away. Sunday after work, I went to his place, apologised, cried but he said his mind was made up. Sunday evening I called him again begging, crying and all but he didn't change his mind. We've been having little arguments lately and he said it's draining him. Monday and Tuesday he checked up on me. Wednesday night, I missed him so much and I contacted him. He still calls me baby, says he loves me and all but his decision is for our good and still stands. I deleted my app and cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning sick and couldn't even go to work.

I'm scared if I go NC we may just totally move on. I really love him. If the relationship had been a meaningful one, a brief period of no contact would not be enough for both parties to move on so easily. I would recommend you go through with it since he's expressed that he feels drained from all the fighting. At least give both parties some breathing room before initiating anything once more. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me 2weeks ago. I know our relashionship wasn't perfect and we lacked balance and had issues in the past.

I've passionate and him a little more moderate in the relashionship. But we were getting to a great place When he dumped me out of the blue. I was devastated, begged him to stay, he told me he needed space and couldn't see a future with me we're 21 and I never asked for that kind of commitment. So I end up accepting the whole thing even though it hurts like hell. I'm trying to be a happy person without him, and I feel ok with myself tbh.

But now he wants me back, and I don't know what to do. I still love him but I don't want to get back into a relashionship that's already failed. Should I wait longer before returning his calls? Should I just get back together with him? Are we doomed already?