Usually within 15 or 30 minutes, but certainly within an hour. I will at least know if I want to spend more time with this person and have an interest in exploring our chemistry not necessarily at that first meeting, but at some point. Did I feel an overwhelming attraction and connection to him? I would have felt tacky to ask him to throw that out the window.


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  • I Tried Dating Someone as “Friends First”.

I did call him a few days later to have a chat. I know everyone has their own policy on this, but for me: To be frank, that only confirmed to me that we were better off ending this now. I know a lot of people find the friends first approach more relaxed and organic. I embrace whatever works for each individual! But I have NO doubt that the friends first thing is not for me! To go into a new relationship with an intentionally ambiguous maybe-we-will-eventually-have-chemistry is unsatisfactory, confusing, and unappealing to me. The good news is that this is another instance where a specific dating experience provided clarity for me.

But my personality is more comfortable understanding that this relationship is defined as a friendship and nothing more. After that I dated on and off and was with someone again for about 2 years before him and I ran into each other. The relationship was already kind of falling apart so after we ended things I took 6 months before I was ready to really date again. At that point it was clear we were meant to be together. I was only serious with 2 other guys and he with 2 other girls. Wow I thought we were weird for taking 3 years but looking at the comments, it seems like it's more common than I thought!

But 3 years was spent living in different states with no contact. Even then, it took her a while to realize it. Everyone always gives me weird looks when I say that we dated casually for nine months before going official. It was great - he became my best friend before we actually became a couple. We were able to say almost definitively that we are compatible. We were friends for about about months when I started to catch feelings. I think we always found each other attractive. I confessed my feelings to him about 7 months into the friendship.

He reciprocated my feels. Oh, that was 6 years ago. We broke up after a year. He ended up stalking me for 3 years and we are no-contact now. Obviously we became friends, and he got to know me a lot better over time and decided he liked me.

Because we met at work and I'm a manager -- to be clear, I'm not HIS manager or anywhere in his reporting chain, but I do outrank him by a lot -- he also didn't want to approach me for dating until he was sure I was more of a social connection than a work one. We met at work, which helped to slow things down. After my initially expressed interest was met with a definite "no", we settled into being coworker-friends and then, as we kept running into each other outside of work, just friends who happened to work at the same large company. Over the years we had dinner a bunch of times and did group things with mutual friends, and generally got to know each other better.

After a while he decided I was worth the hassle of dating, and wrote to me asking if I'd like to change the friendship into something more. Remembering the initial turn-down, I'll admit I let him squirm for a week or so We are allowed to have those feelings, I hope you know you don't need to apologise or explain.

Don't you EVER apologize for being bubbly, you hear me? Bubbly guys are the best. Their enthusiasm and delight is contagious, and you should never suppress that! I love this storyyy!!!! Makes me feel a bit more hopeful about confessing my feelings to someone I may like! Mine was the other way around. He knew the minute he saw me or so he says. I was clueless but he was so patient. It took us a year and a half. Do you want to hear the story? Because I'm four glasses of wine in and I love telling our story!

So, I go to college. My freshman year I meet a girl, I have three classes with her, we both love stoner comedies but aren't stoners, we have the same sense of humor, we become fast friends. She's in the university's marching band and tells me about some cool band parties she went to. I'm awkward and lonely and haven't enjoyed the parties I've been to before, so I ask her to invite me. I end up becoming best friends with her and regularly going to marching band parties with her.

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At these parties, I'm a freshman in college and new to drinking and get dumbly drunk. At these parties, I meet this guy. I don't remember exactly when I met him, but it was a couple weekends in a row.


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He said he was a fan. Anyway, we start being friends. And he walks me and my friends home, to make sure that these drunk college girls are getting home safe. It was never like a "Well, if I walk her home He just wanted us to be safe. So we eventually become friends and text a little bit, and I got vibes that he liked me. He tried to text me about hanging out a couple times. I shut him down. But within about a year and half, we did become friends.

He was a dork, but he was a kind weird dork. He was compassionate and charitable and made dumb jokes and loved Harry Potter. I smiled throughout nearly all our conversations and whenever we touched, it felt like my skin was on fire and I thought But he had a weird last name, very easy to make into a vulgar nickname.

And I was studying to be a teacher. So I couldn't date him because I couldn't marry him. Sophomore year, our friends throw a Christmas party. I remember making Christmas cookies and eating cookies and me popping a cookie into his mouth. And I remember thinking "I should kiss him! But later in the night, my male friend sat on his lap and they made jokes about Santa and I felt fucking rage, like he was mine and nobody else should ever sit on his lap.

Want to add to the discussion?

Dumb and possessive, yes. So weeks later, I get drunk and text him. I tell him that I can't marry him. And that also, he shouldn't want to get to know me because I'm a bad person and so I'm refusing to let him talk to me. Totally random, totally out of the blue.

A few weeks later, I miss him like hell, and I'm about to study abroad in France. Normally my university started in January, but my school in France started in February, so I had three free weeks after my regular Christmas break of doing nothing. I go back to my school for a weekend to visit some friends, and on the drive, I see something that makes me think of him.

So I text him, and we start talking. My feelings were brewing and I finally tell him that hey, I'm at school this weekend, would you want to hang out? And instead of accepting my advance, he tells me that he's actually not at school this semester and is struggling with mental health issues. And he tells me stuff that he's told nobody else. And I tell him stuff I've told nobody else. And we realize that our parents' houses, where we're both living for the next two weeks, isn't too far from each other.

So we decide to meet up. Our first date was I know that's dumb. I felt so nervous but just absolutely myself with him. I started walking him around my parents' house and just showing him stuff, because I wanted him to know about my entire life. We talked about babies and pregnancy and how I always wanted to be foster parent and an adoptive parent, and he agreed!!!

We talked about how DNA doesn't mean too much to either of us and there are lots of babies who need families or just a temporary safe place to stay, and that maybe we could be those people to care for them. We hung out three times that week. Our third date, the day before I moved to a foreign country for five months, we looked at his baby books and old scrapbooks. And while cuddling, we told each other, "I think I love you.

So I moved to France and had an amazing time. We were officially "friends who want to be something more but are waiting. About a month in, I accidentally called him to my boyfriend, and I asked him if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I came back, and the spark wasn't gone. We were dating, long distance for some time, then in the same place for some time, too. It's been three and a half years of dating, so five years of knowing this amazing guy, and we love each other more than ever. We've talked about marriage and family for the whole of our relationship, but it's always been " He's a great guy who makes me the best person I can be.

It'd be an honor to be with him and raise a family with him. He's gonna cook me scrambled eggs and do puzzles with me, and then we're gonna raise kids and go to museums and parks and do all kinds of fun stuff! I really hope I get to marry and spend my life with someone like him, and real specifically, him. Plus, he's so damn cute and sexy. I love his body, and apparently he loves mine.

It's ridiculous to be loved and adored as much as I am. I am so lucky. Oh god, this all is just too ridiculously cute. One of the absolute coolest things was him telling me what he liked and admired about me. For example, I have always ranged from slightly overweight- overweight and have had a stomach that sticks out.

Turns out he was and still is extremely attracted to my "cute belly. Also it's apparently "adorable," that I sway back and forth when I'm really into something. Also apparently how I put my head up against my shoulder when I'm excited or drunk. All kinds of little things I never thought about were the thins he adored about me. There's somebody, maybe even a lot of people, who are out there that think you are the coolest, funniest, sexiest person. And someday you'll find someone like that you thinks you're the best and also respects the heck out of you.

And if you respect the heck out of them and can communicate and compromise openly, well, it'll be beautiful. It took us about two years: But then slowly, eventually we realized we were right for each other. None of our mutual friends has been surprised to hear we are a couple now.

Ever since we met almost ten years ago, in the back of my mind I had a feeling we'd eventually date. I never dreamed it would be as wonderful as it is. As I'm typing this, I'm eagerly waiting for him to come pick me up for date night. Totally unrelated but i really like your username! Do you sleep with your beard under or over the sheets? I knew by grade 8. Friends since grade It was either 3 or 4 years? Then we got married years later. I love him so much: Her 31f family moved in 7 houses down from my 30m family when I was 5 and she was 6.

We grew up best friends and when she decided she was going to a different state for college I think that triggered me to realize that I wanted to be with her. We then spent the next few years going back and forth wanting each other while the other was trying to get over the rejection of the other. I then started dating a friend of hers while we were living together and that was the last straw for us both. Now married almost 3 years! Best Friends for since Never actually dated but should have many times.

I always felt we would end up together. After witnessing them together in a marriage scenario I realize if her and I dated as adults it would go up in a ball of flames. Especially if we lived together. Yeah luckily we had 2 years where we lived as roommates before finally realizing. For any couple I highly suggest living together before getting married! The biggest in your face one is that she likes to have complete control over the kitchen.

And I cook almost every meal I eat. She swiffered the kitchen floor at least once every day. It would be a nightmare for me. She works herself up and puts way more pressure on herself than is needed. Her husband is adept at dealing with it and helping her. Because of her intensity, she always does extremely well, whatever it is, a test or interview, or getting ready to host a party etc.

A couple months more for him though. I thought we kind of were dating at first. He just thought I was super into coffee and hugs. Took a while for the hints to sink in. I met him John when I moved to a new city to date a different guy, Mike. Mike was an amazing man who changed my entire outlook on life. Mike and I planned to move so I could go to graduate school and I couldn't get John out of my head. He was one of the first friends I had made when I moved to Mike's city and I could not stop obsessing about him. Mike had done nothing wrong, but I didn't love him any more.

It was a messy, messy breakup, as breakups tend to be, but Mike and I remain friends to this day. John and I lived together for three years and then married. We will be celebrating our 15 year anniversary later this year. We've known each other since we were kids went to the same church and became good friends in high school. We were both in marching band, I was a freshman and he was a senior. We almost dated at the end of that year, but it didn't work out. We reconnected a couple years later, but we had both just gotten out of serious relationships and the timing was bad.

Finally, a little over two years ago, we were both ready and decided to go for it. I was there once, gave up on waiting and met my wife a couple months later. Chatted online for a few months. Met in person for about 2 months and then fell in love. Since then we moved in together, got married, bought a house, got a dog and cat, and are still together today. Met in early high school, very good friends basically all throughout.

I moved miles away for four years, he visited and we'd hook up occasionally, just FWB. After I left my ex fiance it was like a light switched. He was my home and where I was meant to be all along. We've been together for seven years, married for six, and I'm currently pregnant with our first.

We were friends for six months before we started dating. The meantime included him dating one of my friends they'd matched on Bumble and I met him through her -- no initial attraction on my end, and they weren't compatible , me starting a relationship that ended messily a couple months later, me hooking up with one of his roommates, then finding out from another roommate that my now-SO had feelings from me, an ill-advised makeout session and a daylong "just friends" hangout that turned into a hookup It'll be two years in October.

We were friends for maybe 2 years but I knew I wanted to be with him from the moment I met him, and he's told me he felt the same. Got together 5 days later and have been together 6 and a half years. We were so close before actually dating that we both feel that we're in a relationship with our best friend. Friends for four years, dated for 1. Got married 3 years after getting engaged. I'd heard about him through a mutual friend for months and he treated her as friends well.

We started hanging out together and just meshed well.

I Tried Dating Someone as “Friends First” – P.S. I Love You

Umm I was friends with my boyfriend for 5 years. I didn't think of him as a boyfriend lmao just period point blank. But he had began texting me alot out if no where after me and a ex broke up he didn't know I was in a relationship I didn't use social media it anything but idk we just talked, and for me he kinda became a rebound guy tbh. He asked me to a movie and I didn't think it was gonna go anywhere but my mom made me go and we started dating after that and it's been at least 5 years since then and our relationship is really nice and I'm happy I wound up going on that date.

He really is my best friend. My mom made me go on a date with a friend from middle school and it just happened to work out really well. So just take chances I suppose. We met when we were fifteen and were close-ish friends after that. It wasn't until we were both twenty-five that we went to a concert that actually turned out to be a date. Now we're 30 and married and stupidly happy together. How did that come about, if I may ask? Like, did y'all go to the concert initially because you're friends with similar music tastes, and then something happened by the end of the night?

Well he had just gotten out of a bad long-term relationship, and I had just gotten out of a bad long-term relationship, so he decided to come visit me so we could hang out and catch up, since we hadn't really seen each other in a few years. We spent a few days together just hanging out, watching movies, and reconnecting, and wound up getting closer than we ever had been before.

What was supposed to be a concert we went to as friends ended with him confessing that he'd had a crush on me back when we were teenagers, and us cuddling and making out on the couch for the rest of the night. So it's not like anything happened on that day in particular, it was just a bit of a change over the course of several years, distance, timing, and circumstance.

That makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing! I'm happy it's worked out for you two: I met her at our university library. We were sitting at this huge table studying, and I noticed she was kinda cursing under her breath because of her math problems. I never had issues with math and I asked her if I could help her out. She said yes, and we became math friends. I never realized she was into me. Just thought she liked getting some help at math and physics, which I was glad to provide. She was cute and funny, but I never thought more of our relationship than that.

Fast forward about 6months, she asked me again, as had become the habit over 6 months, if I could help her out and I suddenly realized her course had already had their math exams a month ago, but she was still asking me for help. I said yes to hanging out, went to her place, asked her out on a date, she grinned widely and said yes.

My ex and I were good friends for 2. We liked each other from the beginning but he asked me to be his gf via text message and I thought that was lame so I freaked and said no??

The Story of Us: From Friends to Dating

Then spent the next 2 years of me having a bf and him having a gf on and off, but always liking each other. Eventually when I was We were together for 6 years. Going on 9 years, married, etc. He reached out to me two months after my husband passed away. He had lost his wife six months before me. We had a mutual friend who gave him my information and said I might need a friend. Overnight he became my best friend!

We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I am grateful everyday for my second chance. Less than a year. We had classes together in high school, mutual friends, both in marching band, and got along well. I had a boyfriend at the time, but when I found out my friend was moving to the next town over I realized I had feelings for him. Dumped my boyfriend and we did the long distance thing until he convinced his mom to let him drive 45 minutes to our school every day during senior year lol we've been married almost 12 years!

Then, my old bf and I finally ended it and I needed a date to my last sorority formal, so I asked mah man since I knew he was nice but would be all creepy at the end of the night, and here we are today! We were friends from grade , then we lost touch after high school. Three years later, we reconnected, and got engaged 4 months later.

Celebrating one year married on Sunday! Knew him for about a year, then friends for about 2 months, then we realized how perfect we were for each other. It took 6 years for us to realise. We were good friends before then but only realised that we were compatible when we stopped being students at university. We were into each other immediately, but it took 7 months for us to get together.

Well at first I hated him. Then we got to know each other and became friends after a couple of months of knowing each other. So probably 5 months after knowing each other, and a month or two after actually becoming friends. I told him the other day that we were like the classic chick flick plot line: I never guessed that he liked me either, so I was really stressed out when I figured out that I was pretty in love with him. Thankfully he was really happy when I sheepishly told him, and then we started dating. It feels deeper and sturdier.

Thread has totally been saved over here. Just finished my time at university where a friend I caught feelings for and I will now be studying in different countries for 2 years, but remaining in occasional contact. I would recommend acting faster than that.

It Was Weird and Confusing

We could of started our awesome life a lot earlier. We were friends for about 4 years before we started dating. We both had different long term SO's while we were friends. Now we've been together for 8 years, and married for 2! Funny thing is we always had a bit of attraction to each other, but at the time he had a girlfriend and I a boyfriend.

So when we finally were single we hooked up one night and now Five years of an amazing relationship. We're unsure when exactly we met, but I think I was in middle school. We started dating when I was I think we genuinely got to know the real person and love grew from there. It definitely makes a difference. Well, my boyfriend asked me out in 8th grade, but I turned him down.

We were still friends, but didn't talk much after that. During my junior year of high school we became best friends because we were both in a middle college program, and at the end of the school year, he asked me out. It was probably months of constantly hanging out before we figured out maybe he was right in 8th grade haha. Well, I date a woman friend and I'm a girl myself.

It took us 6 years and we didn't actually realize that. We just fell in love and now we're together, it feels like it always should've been this way. I guess there's nothing like dating a friend, someone who you totally trust and admire. Well, I wanted him right away. I just didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell that my interest could be reciprocated. So I was cool with being friends until things changed naturally on their own. About 15 years, but of those years was spent in different states with little to no contact.

Now we are engaged: We were friends since we were 8, but date other people all though high school and college. Then I broke up with my ex and he was single so I went for it. We just celebrated an anniversary yesterday. I was the hold out. My husband tried for many months, but we settled into friends until one fateful day in march Well, he developed feelings earlier on, but I was just out of a bad relationship and he was too shy to say anything anyway.

We would hang out and have long conversations about our lives and what we wanted in the future, etc.