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I thought, 'It doesn't matter if he's all the way across the other side of the globe — it's fate. When he asked to take the conversation off the dating site — which she now knows is a vital red flag — she was flattered. James claimed he sounded a bit Spanish and South African because he moved around as a kid and for work. Alexander admits it sounds silly now. She helped the man she loved with business proposals and was given access to his bank accounts, where she could see he had plenty of money.

But it was all part of an elaborate scam to build her trust, before asking her to borrow money.

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At times, he paid the money back before coming up with reasons for needing to borrow more. When Alexander emailed a supplier in China on his behalf once, the exchanged messages included Cantonese characters. She believes the intricate efforts put into the scam meant there was a group of people behind the character James, with multiple victims on the go. Then it was a couple more days. On the fifth day, Alexander realised he wasn't coming.

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I immediately felt betrayal, followed with, 'Oh, gosh, what are you going to do about the money? Then the shame hit.


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