'Can I date my ex-boyfriend's best friend?'
I never thought in a million years that he would be attracted to me. It all happened way after the breakup.
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I guess I need some advice on how I should handle this situation? I like him so much. And I just cannot be upfront with anyone about this.
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The longer you keep this a secret the worse it will be. Tell your new boyfriend to reveal what has happened to his friend your ex. If you keep lying about it then you will both be perceived as the bad guys. Honesty is the best way forward here. Your ex can handle it if you are also nice to him. I agree that honesty is key. But he truly does not have the best track record with handling tough situations. He has a temper and I know this will ultimately result in him despising us both. A normal mature man may have the mental capacity to handle such news. My ex however, we know will not take it well at all.
They have been friends for 14 years! My boyfriend does not want to ruin his relationship with his longtime friend. Our energies are just to let each other go. I hear you Jo but your ex has to learn to deal with this type of situation. This will be very helpful as a life lesson as long as you are both kind to him.
Expect a storm, but weather it. He will come around. Always imagine the situation in reverse, him going out with your best friend. He will feel betrayed. So just dampen his anger with understanding. In the end he may even hang out with you guys. I feel like a bad person to have to hide when normally I am completely transparent.
This also may be exciting for you both right now, but once your ex knows, the intrigue and mystery will vanish. That will be the first test of your relationship. I was with someone for 3 years and after we broke up, a few months later I was with his best friend. Be careful, and break it to everyone as gently as possible. When we told everyone, everyone hated us. To the point where I left him the best friend because I could see how badly it was hurting him to lose his friends.
Email will not be published required: Sign Up for the. Receive the Latest Stories. Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 of 7 total. Sometimes getting an outside perspective on the relationship can help you to put it in perspective. Tell your ex one on one in a private setting. If you feel the relationship is meaningful and could lead to a serious relationship, it may be time to talk to your ex-partner about it. Do this by contacting your ex and asking for a one on one, in person meeting.
Choose a neutral meeting spot, like a park bench or a coffee shop. This will make your ex feel more comfortable with meeting you and make the meeting seem less intimidating.
Doing this may come across as cold and disrespectful to your ex. You should also try to tell your ex-partner before word gets around about your new relationship, as you want your partner to hear the news from you. You may decide to bring the best friend to the meeting. However, you may want to be cautious about doing this, as this may anger your ex-partner. When you tell your ex, you should make sure you are being accountable for your actions and choices.
Speak clearly and honestly so your ex-partner knows you are trying to be sincere and mature about the situation. I have started seeing your best friend. I did not plan it or know it was going to happen. We were all out one night and one thing lead to another. I am really happy with this person and I hope you can be happy for me. Maintain open, positive body language. You should maintain eye contact with your ex-partner when you tell him about the relationship and keep your body relaxed. Avoid crossing your arms over your chest or sitting on the edge of your seat. Try to project positive body language so your ex-partner knows you are speaking with intention.
How To Date Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Best Friend
This could help your ex to come to terms with what you are saying. Instead, try to keep your body relaxed and maintain eye contact so you can make sure your ex-partner understands what you are trying to share. Give your ex time to process the news. Be prepared for your ex to be upset and unsettled by news of your new relationship. Rather than try to get your ex to accept the news, you should give your ex time to process the situation. You may also give your ex space to process by opting out of get together with mutual friends.
Ask the best friend to give your ex-partner space. You may also talk to the best friend and recommend that you both give your ex space and time to process. Sometimes, people just need to digest emotional information and come to terms with a sensitive situation. So, over time, the best friend may be able to reach out to your ex and explain their side of the story. This may help your ex accept your new relationship and also avoid ruining the friendship between the best friend and your ex.
Accept that your ex may not be okay with the relationship. Though you may try your hardest to get your ex-partner to understand and accept your new relationship, it may not always be possible. Your ex-partner may be too upset by the relationship and have a hard time being okay with your new romance. Your ex may also be angry that their best friend became involved with someone from their past.
6 questions you should ask if you want to date your ex's friend
You may need to learn to accept that having your new relationship means letting go of your relationship with your ex-partner. Over time, your ex may come around and accept the situation.
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But you cannot force your ex to do this. Avoid comparing the best friend to your ex. To create a healthy relationship with the best friend, you should avoid comparisons between the best friend and your ex. Your relationship is not a competition and the best friend has different qualities than your ex. Comparing the best friend and your ex will just lead to conflict and tension in your new relationship.