Let her know what makes her stand out. You don't have to say, "I've never met anyone like you before," but you can say, "I've never heard such an incredible laugh. Charming people can walk into any room and talk to any person at all without getting uncomfortable. To charm the girl, you have to exude confidence and show that you're completely comfortable with yourself and that you love talking to people and making them feel great.
Charming people make the best of everything and are always emphasizing the great things in life -- that's why people want to be around them. Show that you can talk to anyone. Though you should focus on the girl, if her friends are around, you should charm them while keeping her attention. This will show that you can keep up a conversation with anyone. Impress her with your wit. Don't just laugh if she says something funny; fire back with a hilarious comment.
Don't look too available. Though it's important to get the girl interested, you still have to play it coy if you really want her to hook up with you. No girl wants to hook up with the low-hanging fruit; you should look interested, but not desperate to hook up with her at any cost. There's a fine line between flirting and coming on too strong, so make sure you don't smother the girl with affection.
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You should compliment her, but don't tell her she's beautiful, amazing, and has an absolutely gorgeous body -- she will start to get overwhelmed or will suspect that you're not really being sincere. Don't talk about how you never get girls and are surprised that a great girl like her is actually talking to you. You should make her think that girls love talking to you all the time, even if it's not true. Sometimes it helps to make her jealous just a bit. Now, if you throw yourself at another girl right in front of her, she'll quickly lose interest.
Know when enough is enough. If the girl just isn't having it, you'll know pretty quickly. If you're pulling out all the stops but she's just rolling her eyes, looking around the room, or signaling her friends to save her, then it's time to cut her loose. Don't hang around longer than you're wanted, or you'll just embarrass yourself. If she doesn't want you, that's okay -- move on and know you'll find someone else who isn't immune to your charms.
If she clearly doesn't want you, be a gentleman as you say goodbye. Don't make things worse by saying, "Well, you clearly don't like me" -- instead, just tell her it was nice to meet her and go on your merry way.
If it's going well, ask her out. You can't hook up with her if you don't ask her out, can you? Tell the girl that you've had a great time talking to her and ask her if she wants to pick up the conversation over drinks and dinner some time. Or if you're forward and met her out at a club or a bar, just ask her to come back home with you, but remember that this may make you look like a player if you're just getting to know each other.
But if all you want to do is hook up, then hey--ask her to come over. If you really like the girl, then you should take her on a few dates first before you try to really hook up with her. Once you've got her alone -- whether it's later that same night or after a few dates -- you should set the mood before you try anything so she's feeling more romantic.
If she's going back to your place, make sure everything is clean, that the lights are relatively dim, and that you have some provisions -- wine, cheese, chocolate, or other sexy snacks. Be an absolute gentleman when she comes over. Take off and hang up her coat and ask her if she'd like something to drink or eat. You don't have to go overboard. Just tell her she looks great that night, that you love her earrings, or just say that you like spending time with her. Make her feel special before you even make a move. Tell her something nice that's actually true. She'll be able to tell if you're just buttering her up with compliments to try to get her to hook up.
Try some light touches. If she seems receptive and you're sitting next to her, then you can try some light touches before you start kissing her. Put your arm around her, place your hand on her knee, or even squeeze her hand to let her know that you're into her. You can even gently stroke her hair or put your arm around her waist if you're feeling more forward.
See how she responds. The key, though, is being respectful. Players have to lie to get what they want. A playboy can get what he wants with the truth. So, if you want to have your hookup , don't hesitate. Just treat her fairly and honestly, and be upfront about what youw ant.
Yes, drunk sex is one of those things that sounds fun in theory, but in practice it's often a sloppy, messy disaster. Right in the genitals. Emily Morse, sexologist and host of Sex with Emily. Also, how likely are you to remember to use a condom when you can barely remember your room number? Trust is an important component when it comes to taking a girl home. Too much emphasis on sex too early in the conversation can take you from 0 to creepy in no time at all. Also, comfortable is key: The more comfortable in the situation you are, the more comfortable she will be.
Remember to maintain balance and don't overdo it, says Williams. Okay, so I'm a firm believer in a guy owning some sex toys that aren't dedicated to solo male use. If you have a Fleshlight, that's a good start… but that's not going to help satisfy any lady. You should really invest in a nice external vibrator. You can use these to heighten your masturbatory efforts when you're on your own, but you can easily use them when hooking up with a girl.
Both of these are body safe, great quality, and easy to use with an unlubricated condom that's what you should use with sex toys. And no, they aren't cheap. But you'll appreciate the investment in the long run you can get attachments for masturbating, they're totally worth it and so will any girl you hookup with. Just make sure you make it very clear to her that you are good about sterilizing the toy. Using a condom with it and having toy cleaner or one of these bad-boys handy, will allow both you and your lady friend to play with piece-of-mind knowing that your toys are nice and clean.
Having toys on hand, like vibrators, will leave the impression that you're interested in your partner's pleasure which is what every woman wants but seldom gets from a partner. When you're hoping that your night will end in a hookup, you should channel your inner boy scout and always be prepared. The last thing you want is for things to start escalating only to figure out that neither of you has a condom. Here are a few things that you should always have on you when you're going out or hanging out with a potential hookup: When you're out, trying to woo a girl the last thing you want to do is have to worry about your breath.
Quite frankly, you don't know what your evening is going to throw at you. Yes, you want to be hookup ready, but you also don't want to have to have to worry about what drunk-food and tequila are doing to your breath. So, always keep a pack of gum on you. This way you can go about your night without worrying what your mouth might taste like later. Plus, when you're talking close, and she catches a whiff of mint — instead of beer breath — she'll definitely want to kiss you.
And when a guy suddenly smells fresh after a night out, you usually know that he's set on leaning in for that kiss.
Always keep one of these in your pocket for later, because it might end up being just as important to your night as a condom. Women usually keep a hair tie around their wrist or in their purse. However, they manage to disappear in situations when you need them the most. Hair ties seem to be the most elusive when you're getting ready to give a blowjob. Now I know that carrying one might not seem like your responsibility unless you're the kind of dude who's rocking a man bun. In that case you have a perfect excuse as to why you have one.
I wouldn't recommend wearing one around your wrist unless you have long flowing hair because having a hair tie around your wrist can be just as repelling as a wedding ring. Girls might think that your hair tie belongs to a girlfriend and dodge you as if you were married. So keep the hair tie in your pocket. And if she asks why say that you keep on in case you get lucky.
If saying that makes you feel too cocky, then say it belongs to a platonic female friend, and you just so happened to have it on you. I don't think that a girl should be too concerned as to why you have one because it's not that uncommon for a guy to come across a hair tie in the wild. In some fraternities, they keep hair ties on them in the hopes that they get laid or in case one of their brothers get lucky. If they ask, say that you picked up the habit in college!
Okay, this should be really obvious. Obviously try to keep a condom on you if you're trying to get laid… duh. But make sure to keep a few things in mind regarding condoms, like that they actually do expire. Yes, make sure you're paying attention to the expiration date on your trusty wallet condom. If it's past the date, throw it out and swap it for a new one. Speaking of wallet condoms… that's actually not the best place to put them.
Your body heat and the friction from it being kept amongst credit cards will wear the condom down. Try to keep the condom in a jacket pocket but not the same pocket as your keys! If it looks worn down or like it could have been punctured, toss it. The best place for condoms is in cool dark places. So if you don't feel like carrying them, make sure to keep them bedside at the very least.
Though it's always good to have one on you if you're going out, use your judgment. If it looks old and tossed-around, it's probably not going to protect you from anything. Lovability's condoms are probably my absolute favorite because they're packaged in a durable container so less chance of tearing , they don't smell like Autozone, and they're packaged right-side-up which is great for trembling hands.
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This next item might not seem as obvious as the others. However, it's very important. I'm a huge proponent of lube. And while lube might not be as important as condoms when it comes to safety, lube is almost vital when it comes to the actual deed. When you're doin' the do after a night out, you might have noticed that while it might be harder for you to perform it's also harder to just get it in to begin with.
Whiskey dick is a catchy phrase, but sometimes women suffer from — for lack of a better phrase — whiskey vagina. Everyone knows that when you drink you get dehydrated, but what everyone might not know is that dehydration directly effects how wet a girl can get. So if you're planning on drinking pre-hookup, it might be a good idea to keep some lube on you. You can buy little one use packets that you can easily slip in your front pocket. Not your back pocket; that could be a disaster. If you plan on going back to yours, make sure to keep a bottle of lube in your bedside table along with all your condoms.
And make sure you buy plain ol' lube. Don't buy anything that advertising a tingling sensation or that's flavored. Because "tingling" lube usually just straight up burns and flavored lube usually has glucose in it which makes it unsafe for putting it inside a vagina. When you're trying to get laid on any given night, you have to try. Very seldom is a girl going to just fall into your lap and be willing to go home with you.
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So, you need to employ a few strategies when hunting for potential hookup prospects. As a dude, you're usually expected to be on the offensive when it comes to asking to hang out or hookup. Here are a few ways to do that:. When it comes to texting, no one ever wants to be the one texting first. Especially if you've been left on read or you were the last one to respond to a dying conversation. It takes some balls, but boy can it be worth it.
If there's a girl in your phone who you've been flirting with or have hooked up in the past shoot her a text and hope for the best. Send something subtly flirty and be direct with what you want. But don't be too direct; no girl wants to get a text that says something like, "hey, we should have sex". So be direct without being too candid, something like "Hey!
What are you up to tonight? What are your plans for this weekend? I'd love to see you" gives off a flirty vibe without being too overtly sexual. Throw in a winky emoji or a smiley face for good measure. I know that texting first, especially double texting, can be a point of anxiety for most but if you want to get anywhere with a girl you're going to have to be okay with taking a risk. If you're nervous about what she might say send the text and then walk away from your phone.
This way you won't feel tempted to hover over your phone in anticipation. Though throwing your phone across your room will keep you from texting other potential hookups. So cast your net wide and send a couple flirty text to try to make plans, but instead of tossing your phone into an abyss put some girls you're particularly nervous about on do not disturb. You'll be free to text other girls or scroll down Twitter without feeling too anxious about responses rolling in.
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Tinder, and other dating apps alike, are arguably the most reliable ways to find a hookup. Even if girls are looking for a longterm partner on a dating app, they're usually okay with fooling around in the process. With that being said, swipe right! Log on to your favorite dating up, spruce up your profile a little bit, and go for it! Swipe right on a ton of girls. Swipe right on any girl that you would be remotely interested in sleeping with because with dating apps you have to cast your net extremely wide. Because let's be honest, you're not going to message have the girls and they're probably not going to message first.
Presenting the Gentleman's Guide to Hooking Up
It's harder to message first when you don't know the person. They're going to feel less obligated to reply since they don't know you. It's hard to establish that connection with a bad pickup line and a cheesy gif. Message a large number of your matches and see if anything sparks! Set a time to meet up at a bar or a party and see if anything catches fire in real life! Do you know a girl, but not well enough to have her number?
Do you and a girl habitually like each other's tweets, but never really talk? Maybe it's time to actually talk to your WCW. There is no harm in sliding into a girl's DMs. It's less nerve-wracking then messaging a girl you already know pretty well, and you're more likely to get a response than you are by hitting on Tinder girls. Like one of her tweets or grams and then follow it up with a compliment in her DMs. Don't be afraid to be a little more flirty than you usually would be; girls get plenty of guys sliding into their DMs, you're going to definitely need to stick out from the pack if you want a response.
If she responds, take that as a good sign and try to keep the conversation going. If you can manage to keep a conversation going in her DMs, then try to transition the conversation from online to in person by asking her if she has plans or if you could buy her a drink sometime. Now that you have initiated contact with a potential hookup, it's time to get your flirt on. If you want to get laid, you need to cultivate that connection with sincere compliments, well-timed jokes, and occasional subtly sexy innuendos.
A lot of guys are flirtatiously inept. However, a general rule of thumb is that if you're making her sincerely laugh, then you're probably doing a good job. These steps that you need to somewhat nail if you want to nail her. Flirting isn't strictly limited to what you say and the vibes you give out. Flirting is highly physical as well.
Your body language says just as much about what you want as your words do. Make sure that when you're talking with your girl that you keep your body language open and inviting. If you're sitting down, point you knees and feet at her. If you're standing make sure to stand across from her or pivot your body toward her when talking in a group. Don't cross your arms or put something physical — like a backpack or briefcase — between the two of you; these are examples of closed body language and may give the impression that you're not into her.
Another thing you should do to make sure you're giving her all the right vibes is to touch her. And no I don't mean inappropriately hopefully that'll come later. When you're hanging out — whether you be at a bar or in private — try to make 3 points of contact. A few examples include reaching out to brush her hair away from her face, touching her hand, touching her shoulder or looping your arm with hers while walking. These points of contact should be affectionate without being overtly sexual, and purposeful.
Accidentally brushing her hand with yours does not count. I'm a believer that for some alcohol is certainly liquid courage. But I'm also an active believer that for most too much alcohol is fuel for stupid decisions. That being said, I'm not totally against drinking when trying to hookup. Sometimes a beer or two, or three is what you need to build the courage to talk to that girl at the bar or finally ask her if she wants to "get out of here". I am however against sloppy drunk hookups, especially when you're hooking up with someone for the first time.
Odds are you probably don't know them very well, or if you do, you don't know them sexually at all.
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Knowing and trusting someone even if it's only a little bit is important even when you're looking for a fling. So stick to wine or beer if you can't trust yourself to go overboard on the liquor. Make sure you order a glass of water in between drinks and actually drink it. Don't worry about looking like a square when watching how much you drink; you'll look mature, cool, and collected. The last thing you want to do is have one-too-many and completely ruin your chances with a girl.
Next to humor, confidence is paramount when it comes to closing.
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If you don't think you're capable of closing, you're probably not going to close. Feeling confident is something everyone has to work on. It's a total fake-it-till-you-make it scenario. Even if you're insecure, you need to put on a front that you're somewhat confident.
This is why grooming is so important in the hooking up equation; because even if you don't feel like the most confident man in the room, dressing well will help you get there. Plus, no well-groomed guy is going to look like they lack in self-esteem. However, there is a huge difference between acting confident and cocky.
For some, it's hard to toe that line. So when you're speaking, have a filter.